A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so im in love with my "friend's" girlfriend and have been since february. I just want to be with her so much and everytime i speak or talk to her i just want to kiss her. we are quite good friends and talk very often. we text and facebook. i told her a few weeks ago that i really really like her and i said that i wouldn't bring it up again and i told her it wouldn't be awkward between us and it hasn't. she does tell me that problems have arisen again with her and my "friend" i try and help if i can but i try and stay out of it and when i do help i stick up for my "friend".for the "friend" thing we are mates but things are awkward because he thinks i like her (she told me this as he told her) as i added her on facebook and msn. i don't want to become between the two of them and if its not working out for them to sort it themselves. they have been together for 2 years with 2 splits in that time. should i tell my "friend" that i like/love his girlfriend but im not going to act on my feelings? please before i do something stupid
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male
reader, CASA DE FIGUEROA  +, writes (6 September 2011):
Yes, life is short and you should waste time. Act on your feelings and see where it takes you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2011): Don't tell him that you like his girlfriend. That will probably result in the end of relationships (yours and your friend's relationship/your friend and his girlfriend's relationship/and even you and the girlfriend's relationship).
I was in a similar situation a few years ago. I was dating a really great guy. Things were great. We were happy. Then one day, one of my really good friends called me and told me that she had feelings for my boyfriend. My only response was "okay..." But all I could think was "why is she telling me this? why does she have to want my guy?" As much as I tried to hide it or act like it didn't bother me, I became paranoid of their relationship - because I knew they were friends and that they talked a lot, I just was nervous about what they were talking about. I started getting jealous and insecure about my relationship with my boyfriend. Eventually, after "stumbling upon" (she really wanted me to find them) one of their online conversations I couldn't deal with their friendship anymore. I knew that he and I were over and that I felt completely betrayed by the both of them.
So basically, all I'm saying is you should be considerate of your friend's feelings. If you tell him, definitively, that you're in love with his girlfriend, that's just going to make him paranoid of your friendship with his girlfriend. If you do tell him, be prepared to cut ties with his girlfriend. And, most likely, he just might feel betrayed by you. Don't tell him.
Honestly, you need to see this girl as "off limits" until she is single. In the mean time go find a girl that's available. Don't ruin a relationship or your friendship for that matter.
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (5 September 2011):
 Hi,
Depends on how much you care about your "friend" because if you do feel him, most likely you will loose his friendship ..... Also, caringguy is right!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Battista +, writes (5 September 2011):
Don't say anything. I don't see what you hope to gain by telling your friend. Just because you say you won't act on your feelings he will probably be suspicious of your contact with his girlfriend as he knows how you feel about her, and already has thoughts along those lines anyway. I can't see you telling him doing anything other than making it awkward and difficult between everyone involved.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (5 September 2011):
Say nothing. To say anything at all will be seen as the highest betrayal of friendship. This is one time where you've got to keep your mouth closed, and get over her in your own time.
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