A
male
age
51-59,
*aymund
writes:o.k. here is the jist of my situation. I will be married for 20 years come next year to the same woman. And I love my wife so much but intimacy has never been the same. now a days, since the kids are older she likes to go out with her girlfriends on girls night out. since i am very possessive and get jealous easily she has given me an ultimatum that if i act up again she is going to leave me and it's all over. i am only 42 yrs. old and she is 41 yrs. old. i know she still loves me but I am no longer sure how much. Affection and intimacy is at a bare nil or hardly there. She has even limited having "sex" to twice a month only. What she calls "sex' also is pretty much her just lying there and me doing my business.Some of my friends say just give her space and all will be come better again. i am to the point where i am starting to not give a crap. only problme is that i like having intimacy and am very affectionate. My question is how can i get rid of this wanting for intimacy and also affection? my wife is a good person and she has always been there for me all the way until now. all she is asking me is for her space and i guess she is no longer turned on by me. funny thing is that i know i can get a woman if i really wanted to. i work in the city and they are so abundant. however, i have been a very straight arrow about this. am i going nuts or is there something out there that will help me lose interest in the aforementioned things i said above. i want to give her what she wants. she says having "sex" with me is torture for her so i want to loose interest in it but it is so hard since i love intimacy a lot.....need help and or guidance.
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male
reader, Glacier  +, writes (29 July 2012):
You really don't want to get rid of your desire for affection and intimacy, as long as it's not just sex!
I think many women wish they had someone like you.
You say you are possessive. Well at least some kudos to you for actually acknowledging it, but you will have to change and give her some space. Try to find a good balance which she feels comfortable with. This is critical or else your marriage is doomed.
You have to suggest to her that you want to find a good balance. Ask her if she still loves you and still wants intimacy with you at all.
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