A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Met this girl online over 3 years ago and fell in love. She's perfect for me, the most wonderful girl I've ever met in my life and never have any of my physical relationships before her been as wonderful as my relationship with this girl. We would talk for hours, several times we've talked for 11-13 hours straight and never got bored. We've never met eachother though due to our age difference. She's 17 and I'm 21. 3 weeks ago she left me because she didn't feel ready to settle down (we had marriage in mind) and she told me she didn't want the commitment. She said she wants to focus on herself for a while and then find someone to date. I have the feeling she has no intention to ever come back to me. What could be the cause of this? =( I love her to death and she's the love of my life. I really don't want to lose her. Please tell me how I could get her back or at least get her to have interest in me. She told me she still loves me. It's been a week since we last spoke though, I hope no contact is a working strategy.Please help and please no advice telling me to get over her and move on, I've heard it too many times.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2010): Well first off, as a reply to sara, I've had 4 girlfriends before her, all of them sucked. There was one girl I had a whole lot in common with, almost everything, even our birthday's were on the same day but there was never really any love. I didn't care much when that girl had left me, was upset yes but the only girl that was ever able to touch my heart the way I want was this last girl I was with for over 3 years.
As for the person below me, she has had 1 boyfriend before me and has a lot of guy friends, also she has attempted many times to leave me for other guys but then she saw they were douchebags and would realize that I'm way better for her, even her friends commented her for how lucky she is to have found a guy like me. I've treated all my girlfriends right, but this girl was the only girl I have ever loved.
I highly doubt there's another guy involved and I don't like having that thought handed to me.
A
female
reader, ~sara~ +, writes (29 March 2010):
Well she is only 17 and when I was that age there was no way I was ready to get married. Maybe you two are just at different points in your life. I would just give her time to figure out what she wants. It is hard since you have never actually met each other. Maybe you aren't as good for each other as you think. I would see if she wants to meet you one day when she is 18. You can just date other people until then and when you meet see how things go. If things are meant to be it will work out in the future and if not you will meet someone new. You think she is perfect for you but maybe that is just because you haven't met anyone better than her yet.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2010): Hey this is the guy who posted this question. First off I know for a fact that there is no other guy, she made that very clear to me since she said she just wants to focus on herself for a while but if she is seeing someone else then that would make her a liar and I wouldn't take her back anyway. I love her to death and I do want her back and I know for a fact she loves me and misses me. However though if she does come back we would need serious recovery time to repair the damages and confusion. I got a guide to help me out and when I'm healed I can decide whether or not I want to renew contact.All I want to do is leave myself open as an option for the future and not just block me off for eternity. If she said she still loves me, misses me, and cries for me then wouldn't that increase my chances? Right now I just want to focus on myself and if she comes back then great but if not I'm hoping to return a brand new man and if she keeps her word, when she sees me and see's how I've improved I'm hoping we could start something again, even if it means having to rebuild a lot of that love I lost when she threw me away. I can learn to forgive if she's willing to earn me back.She might also feel guilty and that I may not want her back or I deserve better. Only I know her exactly how she is and the way I see it, sure she might not come back but I see big chances that she might so I gotta make those changes and show her and go down and see her for once. She's always said it's hard to find guys like me so I hope she can realize that.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (28 March 2010):
But she's said she's not ready to settle down, and wants to find someone else to date, which leads me to suspect she already has someone else in mind. There is no getting her back. You can't sit there and tell us not to say move on, because that's what she's doing. She's moving on whether you like it or not, and if her mind is made up, there is no changing it.
You could try writing her a letter explaining how you feel. But that's all you can do. If she does't respond, you'll have no choice but to move on. If you hassle her too much, or get obsessed, you'll end up arrested or something.
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A
female
reader, Kirstyteenauntireland  +, writes (28 March 2010):
 Sweetheart its so sweet that you want to keep this relationship going. I know you dont really want to hear anytihng about getting over her but why don't you remain friends For a while and see how your relationship Goes. I,m sure she,s just trying to figure herself out and she needs a little bit of time to work things all I can say is give her time and Keep a friendship and hopefully the both of you will be Re-united :) xx
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (28 March 2010):
 Hmmm to be blunt theres another guy, if you met her on the internet so did some other guy, if you feel that way about her so does some other guy. What ever she is telling you probably isnt the truth, shes young and im sure marriage is more then she wants right now especially with someone shes never met. i suggest going to see her, dont ask her just show up being spontaneous can go along way women like men who do not ask.
1 theres probably another guy in her life
2 Shes not ready for a commitment
3 The age difference may make her nervous
4 She may think you wont like her
What to do
1 Go see her find away but dont ask her if you can because she will make up some excuse for you not to.
2 dont tell her you love her or want to marry her. you kno how you feel about her your trying to find out how she really feels about you, without putting her under pressure.
3 Dont beg or cry or pour out your heart, theres a dozen other guys doing that.
4 Pray
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