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male
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anonymous
writes: I really don't know how to explain this but i am attracted to a 15 year old girl who attends the school i teach at,i tried to keep it under wraps but shes realised and is playing on it. Shes not in my lessons, so for most of the year i hadn't even seen her but then on school trip she came on that i was running and something just hit me about her shes just so intriguing, she just sat through the whole trip looking bored playing with her hair and i was just fascinated. Anyway months past, and i didn't really see her apart from when i had to go into her lessons for some reason or another. Then 2 weeks ago i was tld she'd be coming into my department to do some work for a week, it didn't bother me because all the staff say she is quiet and polite, this i found is all an act and is infact more coquettish than anything. She would bend lean other the desk i was sat at when talking to me to reveal her cleavage, and just gaze into my eyes basically just flirting. Since that week ended i've seen her everywhere and she always gives me the same look and a coy allknowing smile. Term has ended which i'm relieved about. For now i know shes just enjoying watchin me get hot and bothered but i'm scared she'll turn things up a notch next year, and i am looking for a way to nip this in the bud if she does without any serious repurcussions. Anyone got any suggestions?
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female
reader, mysterious_blonde_lady  +, writes (20 May 2009):
Lol. Well done you, managed to get yourself into a good situation here. Totally bizarre that you are writing into an advice website... about this.
There is nothing to 'nip in the bud' as you say. The 15 year old you spoke of (I know this a long time ago now so this is probably useless but nvm i have nothing better to do), is getting a power trip off winding you up, she knows you have a fancy for her probably all talk no trousers. I doubt she will hit on you unless you give her a clear sign. Your not asking something you can really get advice on because the problem here is your fancy for her and nothing else. She is flirting, but wouldn't be if you didn treact. Keep your distance, that's all you can do.
I wont patronise you by telling you what would happen if you didnt, (I'm sure you've had it drummed into your head). If she ever does make a move be very straight with her and do NOT admit to fancying her, then report it to deputy or the head or a senior member of staff to protect yourself. I hope you havent led her on in anyway, teenage girls are vulnerable and can get very emotionally involved in situations like this, basing all of their self-esteem on it. Take it from one! :P
A
female
reader, TreChic  +, writes (20 March 2009):
I have the BIGGEST crush on my teacher, totally wouldn't rat out on him if he made a move. But I never really put myself in my teachers shoes before. I suppose you should be careful of all the repercussions of this situation like the ones suggested above and how you and she will be effected EMOTIONALLY.
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A
male
reader, danno75420 +, writes (24 August 2006):
Yeah that can't be good mate. I'm sure it's extremely tempting but aside from legal consequences, there's your career on the line. If you'll regret it, it's not worth it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2006): just because she behaves how a woman behaves does not mean she is ready for a womanly relationship she is just a CHILD and you are playing with fire
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (4 August 2006):
 If you are in the UK, you will be aware that there is specific legislation prohibiting relationships between teachers and pupils regardless of consent. You will end up on the sex offenders register and you will never teach again, and will find it difficult to find any work since most education jobs require a CRB check. It is very good that you identify that your feelings are out of control. While she maybe 15, she is still a child in the eyes of the law and most of society. I am sure her parents would be mortified at the prospect of 'teach' letching over their girl. What you have to remember is that you are the adult and she is the pupil/ child. Stop thinking about her sexually and treat her attention seeking behaviour of trying to lean over your desk in the same professional way as you would if a boy in your class was kicking off and throwing stuff around the room. It is a disciplinary matter. You should approach the head of the year for professional advice - if another teacher has a word with her then she has lost the power of her 'secret' and you have regained your professional integrity. Conduct yourself in a professional manner as you don't have to see her that often and get some same-age company.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2006): Get your head on straight, dear. You need to protect yourself here. Be careful and never, ever be alone with her. She's playing a dangerous game and you need to back off. She's a younger, underage female exploring her sexual powers . This is a common problem. Many young female students have crushes on their male teachers.. If were to find out how many female students have fantasized about sexual relationships with their male teachers, we'd probably get a pretty high number. But her age is good reason enough for you to-walk the other way and as an adult, you know this. Whether she's playing games, flirting blatantly with you, I strongly suggest you muster up some strong willpower and try your best to politely avoid her. If you can't resist her, you have too much to lose. If something did happen, her parents could bring charges against you. Is losing your career, possibly going to jail and being branded a 'sex predator' with a criminal record, the rest of your life, really worth it. Get your excited responses to her in check.
Is there any other teachers you trust that you can talk to about this? I think you would be wise to seek the sensible advise of someone who may have had experience with student crushes and find out how to deal with this female's overtures. I would hate to see her misread your 'cool' response to her as being hurtful, and she does something such as accusing you of sexual harrassment, in spitefulness. Please watch and be careful. Good Luck.
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