A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:pls help me,am in love with a sweet guy who is engaged and supposed to marry another girl in 4months,since he met me(about 3months ago) he told me he wants to leave his fiancee cos he likes me more,i can add value to his life and am from his tribe(the lady is not)but he does not have the courage to tell the lady in question.Pls how do i confirm if he really loves me and will marry me instead of that girl and for how long do i wait?
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female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (27 April 2008):
 Sweetheart you shouldn't be sleeping with him if he is already with someone else and possibly sleeping with her, I hope you have been using protection or he has as this could be very serious for you if not.
Hold off the sex completely until you know one way or the other as right now he is getting his cake and eating it so to speak.
If you withhold the sex then you will know for definite how he feels about you as the sex should not be the be all and end all. If he still tells you that he will end it with the other girl if you withhold the sex then you truly know that it is you he loves. While you have sex with him he can say whatever he likes but the proof is the pudding.
He has to make a decision one way or the other and if your relationship is not just about sex then you will know for definite how he feels about you OK.
Best of luck.
Keep us posted eh!!!
BFN
Country Woman
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much for the advice,i will give him a few more weeks cause i think i have been a little hard on him.
But sorry to bother u again,do i still have sex with him or withold it till he breaks off from that girl?
thank you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008): just run like hell and keep running...
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A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (25 April 2008):
I'm not too up on how tribes relate to one another but if the man of your dreams feels that strongly and cannot upset this lady then surely there is someone who is an elder or something of his tribe that he could talk to and ask their advice as he feels that it would be in the best interest of the tribe to remain as one and to marry a girl from within his own tribe that he has strong feelings for and explain his nervousness about breaking off the engagement.
Do you think he feels that there could be problems between tribes if he was to break off the engagement and he does not want to cause problems for your tribe?
I think he needs to speak to someone who is older and wiser than himself to get their view on the whole situation.
At least that way things may be resolved diplomatically. Did he choose his bride to be btw in the first place or was it pushed upon him?
BFN
Country Woman
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