A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi back again....."HiMy girlfriend of a year and a half just told me she wants to go on a break, she says she rushed into the relationship and had just finished a 6 month one and she says she now need time to think and be on her own, i didn't want this but i'll do it for her. She says this might make us stronger, she still wants to text and stuff because in truth we're best friends now too. I dunno is this a good idea though, what is my best way to play this, all i want is her back"since this i have been distant with her and she has said she wants to meet up and i have said no don't think its a good idea and she was really missing me. Then last night she rang me and told me her nan just died, i said i'm there for her night or day, should i be the shoulder to cry on though? should i go to the funeral? i just don't know i had just got to where i wanted and not being insensitive or anything but just feel this death has thrown a spanner in the works, i love her to bits and if she's upset i'm always there for her.....i just don't know what to do
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008): Yes!To ask, DO NOT text. It is acting like you don't want to comfront her. Ring her up, hear her voice.Just because you're on a break doesn't mean you aren't like a friend to her. Do what you would do as a good friend to her, even if things aren't as steady with you two 'together' at the moment.Good luck :)--"You seem to be more concerned about your relationship with your ex than her loss. If you were that close to her you would have been close to Nan as well and there would have been no question about you turning up to pay your respects to the old girl rather than get distracted with your alleged heroic tear-soaked shoulder."I'm afraid that quote is true. Please think about it.
A
female
reader, Susan Strict  +, writes (25 April 2008):
 Yes, absolutely. She needs you. Go. Be with her for as long as she needs you there, and then leave and tell her you will wait for her to call.
Unless you have been through it yourself, you have no idea how it feels when someone close dies. To have you with her for the funeral - assuming she wants you there - is the most important thing you could do for her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008): I think it would be a kind gesture for you to say if she wants the support at the funeral then you will go with her. Make sure while she is vunerable you dont hit on her though because then your gesture will look less genuine and it will look like a plan to get her back. Just let her no that if you are needed you are there and you want nothing in return at this time. x
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