| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: My bf broke up with me a couple of months ago. He's wanted to get back together a few different times. He says his feelings haven't changed at all, there's just other stuff going on with him. The last part is definitely true, he's got a lot going on in his life, and he's been confronting some emotional issues that will take time to address. He knows I'd do anything to be supportive while he's going through a tough time, but also, I know these aren't really things I can fix. I'm still hoping that we could work things out, and he keeps giving me occassional hope of the same thing. So we're still broken up but in my mind I'm holding on to the possibility we'll back together eventually.The problem is that I'm miserable. It's been more than 2 months, and I can't stop thinking about him. It hurts so badly to think that he can manage to be a part from me. I know the seperation has been hard on him, too. But it's tearing me apart.So my question is: should I just give up? I love him so much but I worry that this is just prolonging the inevitable and making the pain so much worse.One of our good friends (to both of us) has been flirting with me recently. (he doesn't know we've talked abt getting back together, just that he dumped me 2 months ago). He's a nice guy, and I know he'd be really good to me. Part of me wants to just go out with him for a bit, bc it'd make me feel better - it'd be a distraction, and it would help cover the pain of not having the guy I love in my life. I'm sure we could keep it a secret frm my ex for a while so he didn't get too hurt. Should I go out with the nice guy who'd treat me so well, or keep holding out for the guy I love even though we can't be together right now or maybe ever?
View related questions:
broke up, flirt, get back together, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Sexybum  +, writes (10 March 2006):
 Firstly I don't think you go with his friend. You said at the beginning of your letter you would do anything to be supportive and that you love him and see yourselves getting back together. If you go with his 'mate' you will probably hurt him, and crush any chance of you two getting back together.
So is this guy's 'mate' coming on to you behind his friends back? The reason I put comas round the name mate is because I do not beleive he could be that greater mate if this is the case.
I understand you are now in a position where you are craving attention and affection, but the way you are planning to go about getting it probably won't acheive much and you may end up hurting yourself in the process.
If you really want to know where you stand the only person who can tell you is your ex, you are supporting him and being there for him and obviously still care about him. It has been two months that you have given him, that is quite a while for you to sit round twiddling your fingers. I do think that now it would be fair enough for you to talk to him, sensitively, and ask him where you stand and where he sees you two as a couple. Do you have a future, or is he not planning to get back with you?
You should go to him directly to find out what you want to know and not try to compensate for it through his 'friends', If you are going to move on then do it outside his group... If you are going to move on then that is exactly what you need to do, not hang around with HIS mates....
Keep us posted, if this advice is way off the mark, let me know, and I'll see if I can help any more..
Good luck x
|
