A
male
age
36-40,
*onderland85
writes: Hi, i am hoping for advice as i met a girl on a dating site and we exchanged flirty texts before going on 2 dates. The first went well but she looked different as she was larger than her profile pictures showed, i decided to ignore that and took her for her nice personality and we kissed that night. Second date didnt feel good or exciting and i felt a bit put off by superficial things. I realise this is my problem and i wish i could be less shallow. I am also unsure of how much we really have in common. My dilemma is that if i am already having doubts is it a bad idea to let this go any further which could make things a lot worse if we have sex and then i decide to finish with her. I also feel that i have lead her on too much already by kissing her and complimenting her. most of my friends would probably not even think about it and use the girl for sex but i dont like doing that i prefer to be in a relationship. She wants a serious relationship and i dont think it is fair if i mess her about but i have also been single for too long and it is just confusing the hell out of me. Please help!
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male
reader, wonderland85 +, writes (12 December 2010):
wonderland85 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot guys you have been a massive help i will call her and be straight with her. All the best
A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (12 December 2010):
Be a gentleman and don't string her along.
Tell her the truth- but no need for excessive details ( don't tell her she is too fat for your tastes ). Tell her that , even if you enjoyed your two dates ( I guess it's true , since you kissed her and liked her personality ) ultimately you feel it can't lead anywhere because between you there is not enough chemistry/compatibility for a serious relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): Hey bud!
The best thing you can do now is come clean with her and be completely honest. You may have dug yourself a little hole by complimenting her when you didnt feel it was how you felt, but that doesnt mean you are stuck. Dont drag this out any longer. Just be forthright and explain what you told us here. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): Omg!! I've been in several situations like that where I wasn't attracted to guys I met online. Most are more attractive in their pics than in person. That's why I ask to see their cam before proceeding any further. Even with cam, it's hard to tell. Anyway, I would just break it to her gently. Tell her the truth that she looks a bit different from her pics and that you don't feel a romantic connection with her now that you've met. I mean, I would want a guy to give it to me straight instead of leading me on and wasting my time. That is the whole point of dating is to see if you are compatible with someone. Since you tested it out and got the answer in two dates, you can thank her for the dates, and move on!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): you should act really weird around her like how to loose a girl in ten days lol
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