A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:There is a guy I see on a class once a week. We taled a little bit once, then ten days ago I added him on fb and he accepted my friend request. He liked two of my photos and I one of his. Last week I started two times chatt conversation online with him and we talked each time around a little more than one hour. I didnt start more chatt conversations with him more because I thought he should do it this time. When I see him outside the class, he hugs all girls that he talks to and also me. On this class there are only him and two other guys. So all girls likes him.Today, I noticed that everytime I talk to other guy he looks down and leave and starts to talk to my friend instead. I become sad, because I think why doesnt he want to listen to me or what I have to say when I talk to his other guyfriends. He did this today THREE times. Why he does it? Does he hate me or does he think that I am boring so he goes and talks to others or to my friend??And beacuse I want to talk to him, I finish talking to his other guy friend, and instead I go to talk to him and my friend. Every time when I talk to him, he answer me. He doesnt start a conversation with me. But he answers me, he hugs me like he does to other girls. At the class, he small talk to other girls and looks at them smiling but NOT at me, like he doesnt see me even when the distance between me and him is very close like 2-3 meters. But sometimes when I accidently turn to look at him, I see him looking at me. Sometimes when I tried to smile at him, I saw him looking at a girl and smiling to her. It seems that they are friends. This girl, was after the class waiting for him. So they talked then they went outside the school together. I could see them from the window. He hugged her as he wanted to go but they then stood talking and they walked towards the window. He winked at me. They went.After one and half hour he was online on fb chatt from 10 pm to 11.50 pm but he didnt talk to me.So I dont understand his behaviour. Doesnt he like me? Is he ignoring me? Does he hate me or think that I am boring? Always after the class, I have no opportunity to talk to him alone. Because there are always his friends, like today a girl waiting for him to talk to him. (the others doesnt know that we are fb friends etc.)It's easier to talk on fb chatt, but since I started 2 conversations with him, I cant start other conversations again. Its his turn to start conversations on fb. Right? I like him. I am confused since I dont understand his beahaviour. Is he not interested? Please advice me what to do? Shall I chatt with him again since this is the only opportunity we can talk alone. When he see me he Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (1 October 2014):
 He does not hate you, why should he ?, and he is not even ignoring you. When he sees you talking with another guy, he does not want to intrude on what may be a private conversation and / or cramp the other guy's stile ( in case he is pursuing you ). He's just giving you space to do your thing, same as you do when you see him with the girl he seems to like, or other girls.
That does not mean he is particurarly into you, though. To me, it sounds as if he is normally friendly and polite as he is with most girls. If you talk to him, he will talk to you back. If he is giving out hugs, you get one too. You catch him looking at you- as probably other girls catch him doing the same with them. That means that you are worth a look every now and then, to him. Why shouldn't you be ? ?
Other than that, he does not seem particularly interested or impressed. Do you find it so strange ? does he HAVE to like you just because you like him, or want to talk to you because you want to talk to him ?...
Maybe he goes for another type of girl, maybe he fancies the one you saw him walking with, maybe he does not want to date or get a gf or have anything to do too close and personal with any females. It's not you - there's nothing wrong with you, if it so happens that he did not fall in love at first sight.
I am saying this because I have the impression,like , that by now it has become a sort of point of honour, a matter of pride , for you, to catch his eye and make HIM talk to you. ...because you fancy him, yes,... but also because you have decided in your mind that you are going to MAKE him give you the attention he is denying you.
I would not get so hung up on all this, you know ? Now, if you want to ask him out through FB for an after class coffee or snack, you can do that, what's the worst that can happen ?... that he brushes you off, and you will survive, I promise. So if you feel like going that route, do it.
Then again...maybe because I am lazy, but I never much believed in hard fought love :). The guy is popular, has got all his groupies waiting for him out of school, lol, it sounds like there may be other girls higher on his list than you. Are you really sure that you want to kick and elbow to climb a few position in his chart ? Is he worth the aggravation of forcing and masterminding what is not just flowing spontaneously from BOTH sides ?...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2014): I'm going to offer a little different advice; because I think you're getting too attached.
You're getting anxious; because the boy isn't showing you enough attention. That is because you want his approval over other girls. The less he notices you, the more anxious and worried you become. That goes beyond liking the boy, to begging for his "acceptance." Feeling he is rejecting you; because he isn't excited about you. Don't do that to yourself.
Some boys don't like girls to pursue them. They feel uncomfortable; because he may be the kind of guy who likes to make the first move. You may not be his type. Then you also have to consider that he may like you and find you pretty, but he isn't looking for a girlfriend. You may want him for a boyfriend. You'll say that isn't so, but you wouldn't be so concerned about how he feels about you.
Sometimes people just don't feel as attracted to us as we are to them. Prepare yourself just in-case he is being polite, and just likes you because you're a nice girl. It's hard to be mean to someone who likes you. Being friendly may be as far as it will ever go. He doesn't hate you.
Back-off a little to get your feelings more under control; so he doesn't hurt your feelings; because he's too aloft and showing other girls more attention. Sometimes that is a polite brush-off.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (1 October 2014):
 If you don't feel like asking him in front of all the other girls, you could do it over FB. But IF you are interested why NOT ask him in front of them? IF he has a problem with that, then he really isn't for you, is he?
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A
female
reader, Anna_2014 +, writes (1 October 2014):
Thanks for the advice! But I only see him at class once a week. I dont either his personal contact, only have him on fb. Before or after the class, there are many girls that waits for him and want to talk to him.
So I cant ask him to hang out with me in front all these girls?? I dont think he will like it me to do it in front of all these girls and his friends.
Pls advice me what to do?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 October 2014):
I'd say spend more time with him OFF FB and out of school. Right now you are analyzing the crap out of EVERYTHING he does, and it leave you anxious ans worried, when there is no need to all that.
He leaves when you talk to another guy, not because you are boring but to give you space to talk to the dude. As soon as you leave the other guy and talks to HIM, he is all ears. So maybe FOCUS on talking more with HIM instead of his friends?
You guys can't go hang out at a cafe or something?
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