A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So I have been dating this guy for a few months and I think he might have been sexually abused as a child. He just told me that he is not capable of loving someone in a romantic way, and only loves me as a friend. He also told me once that he will only be on top when he has sex. He has some problems with drugs, alcohol, and even tried to commit suicide before. He also has told me that he doesn't think of sex the same as most people and has even kissed one of his guy friends before. I think he has had sex with like twenty girls before, but for some reason he wouldn't have sex with me. He said that he doesn't love me in that way and wouldn't feel right about it. He would just do it out of lust and he doesn't want to hurt me. He knows that I want to have sex with him because I am in love with him. Also I am still a virgin and I think that is why it is such a big deal for him. Anyways, does this sound like someone who has been sexually abused? I could only find websites about signs in children, but not for adults. Also why won't he want to have sex with me when he did with all of his ex girlfriends? Then is there anyway I can help my boyfriend with his problems?
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drugs, ex girlfriend, his ex, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, uncle Frank  +, writes (17 July 2009):
 Dear Young Lady.Your boyfriend sounds as if he may need psychiatric assessment and possibly treatment.Be happy that he respects your virginity and move on.You will never be relaxed nor happy with him.Don't be in a hurry because you are no longer a teenager.Do you frequent a church? If you do ask for prayers for guidance: God lives and speaks with us in many various and wonderful ways.God bless and stay virgin till you fing the RIGHT guy and marry for life.uncle Frank
A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (15 July 2009):
 you cant be sure he has been sexually abused unless u ask him.
i think he is taking things slow with u becoz he doesnt want to end up hurting u, the other women in his past were just flings and the sex was easy.
with u it would be more, becoz your still a virgin.
i wouldnt rush this as he sounds he has some issues going on
but it doesnt sound like he will sleep with u outta love just for lust and thats not too good.
good luck
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