A
male
age
41-50,
*owntomars
writes:Hey everyone. I'll try to keep this as concise as possible.I was working on a photography project in Mexico when I met my girlfriend. I met her dancing - it was very romantic and intense. The relationship started almost immediately. I said "I think I love you" and she replied "I love you" the second time we met. I fell so deeply in love with her - or maybe it was the weed - I am not sure, but at this point, it doesn't matter.The fact is that we're soul mates. We are mirrors for each other and the attraction is intense. Problem is - I am living in Boston, and she in Mexico. She was born and raised here. I have spent a lot of time and money coming down here to visit her, and a lot of anguish back in Boston being away from her. Now, I am here for the summer. 3 months - the longest time we have spent together. We have been talking about it for months, about how amazing it will be to live together and share our lives - cooking, sleeping, loving, etc. I was psyched. A week or so before I came she started a job teaching. She says she feels so much pressure, and it not like herself. I believe her! Before this, less than a month ago, she was so loving (if by words only) and sounded completely in love with me. Since then, she has changes 180. She hardly says "I love you" and has told me she doesn't want to sleep at my apartment in Mexico. She has slept here a few times, but usually sleeps at home. I don't know why. Her father is a drunk who she can't STAND, and my apartment is closer to her school. The sex is fantastic. It couldn't be better or more intense and passionate. It is hard to admit, but true, that I have had a lot of problems trusting her. I am 26, she 32, and this is my first really serious (or longer than 2 week) relationship. She has had many. I have accused her of cheating on me in the past. The reasons were sort of lofty reasoning (I could explain some, but it would put me back in that space where I don't want to go). As far as the relationship goes, she is the dominant one, which makes sense given her experience. I wait on her hand and foot - I enjoy it and it makes me feel good to make people happy - but am backing off due to the realization that she doesn't show her appreciation of what I do for her. Also, I know it isn't helping me gain any ground as far as a place to stand in the relationship. Does this sound like a healthy relationship? I know I haven't given almost any information on it, it's very complicated (like me and her).Also, should I stress about her not wanting to stay at my place? She says she needs some space while she works, and is stressed, but it doesn't make sense - we always have a great time until she says "Ok David, I will sleep at my home tonight."Thanks in advance guys. I know I must have missed some crucial details so feel free to ask me to elaborate.
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drunk, her ex, I love you, money, needs some space, soul mates, soulmate Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ChantillyMarie  +, writes (6 June 2010):
Star signs have nothing to do with anything.
Unless you totally believe in that load of crap.
I'm a cancer and my boyfriends an Aries, we're supposed to be two different people, and I'm supposed to fall in love with Taurus or something.
To the whole, domination thing, maybe she's just that kind of person, her dating lots, and not trusting....
A relationship without trust is not a relationship, and you accused her?!
It doesn't at all sound healthy to me.
A
male
reader, downtomars +, writes (5 June 2010):
downtomars is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI should add:
Before it seemed as though she was TOO in love with me, how she said things, what she said. That she will love me forever, can't live without me, things like this.
It is notable that she is a Gemini, and I am a Virgo.
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