A
male
age
30-35,
*martnessAintHelping
writes:Ok I need some help.Me and my girlfriend have been going out for a few weeks now. Sure its not long but we realy have clicked. We love and hate the exact same things and things are going great. But she said to me today that she wants to go further than kissing and hugging. I am totaly fine with that, she has said she dosent want sex and I respect that but shes 14 going 15 and im 16 going 17. I believe she wants to have sexual play. We live in New Zealand were the only age of consent is 16 for girls (Non for guys) I dont know what the law says tho. It states a male over 16 cannot have sexual connection with a female under the age of 16.Does this mean we just cant have sex or cant have sexual play what so ever?
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male
reader, uncle bob  +, writes (10 March 2011):
 Hummm, that's a tough one.
Let's see. A few minutes of "fun" with her, followed by a few YEARS in jail, with guys having "fun" with you!
---OR---
Stick to masturbating (in private), get a good education, move on and live a happy productive life.
Yes, I can see your dilemma.
I sure wouldn't want to have to make that desicision!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2011): The law states that she is not able to consent to ANY sexual activity until she is aged 16. Sorry, but that's it. Some things are worth waiting for, and isn't it better to wait until you are both emotionally ready to take your relationship further?
She may think she's ready now but, believe me, at fourteen (going on fifteen!) that simply is not the case.
Wait - you'll both be glad you did.
I wish you both happiness, health and lots of love.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger  +, writes (10 March 2011):
 Generally with regards to law, ANY sexual act is considered to be sex. This includes handjobs, fingering, oral sex, blowjobs, or vaginal/anal penetration.
It is ALL sex.
The age of consent is 16, so therefore she cannot give consent to ANY sexual act. You will be the one who gets in trouble. She is a minor and under the age of consent. Its sexual abuse at best or rape at worst - even if she wants it and says yes.
Be the grown up here, how mature were you at 14? Were you really ready for sex then?
She is still very very young, and probably not emotionally or physically ready for sex yet. She thinks she is grown up and mature, but in reality she doesnt understand the full consequences of the situation.
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