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Does this mean my wife has desires for someone else?

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Question - (2 March 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 2 March 2009)
A male United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

My wife of 8 years says to me, "I just don't feel the same for you as I did when we married". Does this mean that she has desires for someone else?

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (2 March 2009):

Tisha-1 agony auntDoes this mean she has feelings for someone else? Not necessarily. What it does mean is that she doesn't feel the same way about you.

Don't take your eyes off the ball here and get distracted by imagining things. You need to talk with her about YOUR relationship. What's happened over that 8 years that makes her feel this way? THAT'S what you should be focusing on, if you want to work on the marriage. It's about you and her, and words, feelings and actions. Time to talk, seriously, with love and compassion and caring.

Good luck.

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A female reader, wonderingcat United Kingdom +, writes (2 March 2009):

wonderingcat agony auntoooppss .. disturbing missing words in previous posting ..

I meant to write ... know what each other wants even WITHOUT asking or communcating it in words ...

sorry for the typo ...

Cat

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A female reader, wonderingcat United Kingdom +, writes (2 March 2009):

wonderingcat agony auntHave you two fallen into a rut in your everyday life? Have you taken each other for granted somewhat, since you now live a relatively comfortable life and knows what each other likes and dislikes, or think that you know what each other want even by asking or communicating it in words?

Simple answer to your question is to simply ask her what she meant by that question.

Without any further information on your enquiry, I could theorize on many levels and they could all be wrong! (done that in the past too LOL)

Cat

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2009):

Your wife has to realize that she is simply missing the excitment of love, newness, etc. However, I guarantee if you left her, found someone else, she would boo-hooin' and beggin' you to come back and, ironically, missing the comfort and closeness of a stable marriage.

Does your wife work? Many housewives have boring, self-absorbed lives, and are looking for something to entertain themselves. My wife is a housewife, but a "retired" (for now) professional woman with a brain, and says she can't believe the nonsense that some of her fellow neighborhood housefraus say over coffee -she said their whining and cluenessness about life makes her ears bleed. At any rate, tell the Mrs to get a job. Tell her to focus on making the grass greenier with you, and if she doesn't, tell her to make a decision to move on, or you will, because you could do better yourself. Good luck, and don't fall victim of emotional blackmail. The Mrs needs a wake up call.

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