| A
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I know children supposedly are attracted to their opposite sex parent, but can mothers, for instance, be obsessed with their sons? My boyfriend's mom doesn't like me. I can see it every time I walk in the house. Her glance drops and she sizes me for a good five seconds and I stand awkwardly, feeling like crap. If she's with her son and I come by to say hello, her voice turns all whiney and sarcastic and her tone lowers as if I'm wearing a piece of sh*t around my neck. I've tried, really...I'm nice, polite, I'm a pretty girl, I have a nice family who treat my boyfriend like a king, because they love him. But his mom is just so cold and indifferent with me. When I'm near her and him, she will grab him and start kissing him on his neck and cheeks...and she'll say things like "youre my baby too you know." And it's just strange to watch. We are both almost 19...and she's around 46. I wanted to give her a gift but really, I don't think it'll change anything. I know my boyfriend won't listen to any attempts to break us up..but I am tired of feelings like a poor, not-good-enough girl every time I walk into her house.I think she tries to play games, because sometimes she defends me if my boyfriend calls me a name (playfully) in front of her...When I had braces, she'd make fun of me...calling me Dracula and stuff..my boyfriend was sitting at a table with her friends and she made a comment about him "drying me up"...she's called me hideous, blamed me for his bad grades, made fun of how I dress, how big my butt is. .a bunch of things. She also has a daughter, and she's nice to HER boyfriend. So I don't get it? I'm very sensitive, I can't just not acknowledge these things, I get very hurt...and I feel like if this continues, I will break down and say something...I can't stand being wrongfully judged like this, it's not like I steal him. He's on vacation with her right now and I don't see him all the time. It's been 14 months.Can I maybe get some point of views? From mothers with sons or just any males..Or from anyone for that matter.
View related questions:
braces, kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Illithid  +, writes (19 December 2010):
 The Westermarck Effect usually prevents parents from being romantically or physically attracted to their kids, but parents do tend to be VERY protective of opposite sex childen (thus Daddy's Girls and Momma's Boys). And sometimes. a mother is just a b****.
This doesn't sound so much like the mom is attracted to her son in an Oedipus manner... just that she's cruel. Sadly... there's a REASON for the whole "mother in law" joke. Sorry... she sounds a lot like my ex's mom. (Boy, THERE'S a woman I don't miss... ~shudder~)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2010): That woman is a complete bitch!!!
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (19 December 2010):
Yes, it can work in the opposite way, I'm afraid I don't know the technical term. But, some mothers do have a very possessive and bizarre bond with their sons. You'd find a huge list of long-suffering daughters in law. (Though I have to say that you have a very bizarre case on your hands).
It stems from a huge fear that a daughter will essentially 'steal' the son, and he won't be there for her again.
I'm afraid I don't know the cure, either. I think though that you need to carefully approach your boyfriend about this and explain what your mother in law is doing. It is his job to reassure you, and even her. He doesn't seem to be doing that right now.
...............................
|
