A
female
age
30-35,
*imbirn08
writes:i have been in this relationship for over 2 years and my boyfriend is now in the army, we both talked about it and thought it would be a good thing to do. now that he is in the military, i feel neglected and he is not the same person he was before he went in, so my question is does the army change people? can the relationship work? and does anybody have advice to help me keep it working for us?
View related questions:
military Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (1 February 2011):
 Definitely the army changes people. It is a very regimented way of life and he is meeting people from all over the country and seeing life through a new set of eyes. In addition, this is probably the first time he's been away from his parents, so he is maturing in leaps and bounds.
It sounds like right now you have a long distance relationship. They can be maintained, but it is hard. You are going to have to realize that he isn't going to be in constant contact with you. You'll have to make the best of the situation with phone calls and such and writing emails / letters.
Hopefully you'll be able to keep the flame alive despite the distance.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2011): yes yes it can instead of been married to you you he now married to his job (no your not married just an excample) you will feel more and more like this as time goes bye and when you say anything they don't understand and your the bad person. when really your trying to get some attention if any off him. there before
...............................
A
female
reader, Br1dgette +, writes (31 January 2011):
Army relationships can absolutely without a doubt work. However I think we all need some more information here.
There is a lot of things guys go through in the Army. It builds them up to be stronger emotionally and they find especially if they are young when they start that the values they once had were insignificant.
If he's only been through basic and is still in the states I really wouldn't assume anything is terribly wrong. Give him a chance to adjust to his new situation. Nothing every stays the same... it doesn't change for the worse though.
If he's been deployed that's a whole different can of worms though. Not to say that things can't work... I know many people including myself who it DOES work for but the things they have to do over there are horrendous and it does change them forever. In some cases not in a good way at all. If you are talking about PTSD that is tough to work through. He won't ever be the same.
It's not to say that he's a different person though ... it's just more things added to his life. If he loved you before he still loves you now.
...............................
|
