A
male
age
41-50,
*on-toc
writes:Do girls need material proof for love? I have been with a girl almost 5 months. At the beginning everything was going great. I think she likes me enormously and I her. Now things have started to get difficult. She calls me, we go out or something but haven't had any intimate ralations for the past week, which is unusual because she likes and enjoyes sex a lot. I know that. Yesterday she came with a strange demand, I would say. She told me that was some nice dress and that all her heart went there. I suppose she would like me to buy it for her. I don't mind that and I can afford it but what confuses me is, is she with me only for material things or does she simply need something to make her feel better or whatever. It's not that I've never bought her anything, not so big maybe, but I wanted to see if she would like to be with me just for me and not for things. Now I'm confused and really dont know what this is suppose to mean. I would like a serious relatinship with her but this confuses me a lot. Any tips about what is in her mind? Any opinion would be helpful..Thanks Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (24 September 2007):
 If I got you right, what you're saying here is that your girl, who has always had frequent sex with you, moved from very frequent sex to no sex, and then hinted she wanted a dress. You wonder whether there is a connection between no sex and the dress. If there were any connection, then she would be demanding something in exchange for sex, which would mean there is no love here. But, you're open to thinking that perhaps there is no connection and she just wants to be sure you love her, too. You wonder whether all women need "material proof" of love.I'm with happytochat, particularly as to looking at the big picture. Usually you can tell whether someone is with you for the things you give or for yourself, and one single event is usually not enough to tell for sure. Also, as other posters have suggested, maybe she has detected some unwillingness to give on your part, and is testing you to see whether you're careful or you're just cheap.But, I'm also with you in getting a little suspicious about this. You need to know why she is asking for that dress. Try not buying it, and see what happens.As to "material proofs of love", I believe that love is proved by actions, rather than by money spent. If a girl ever needs constant "material proof", that is proof she doesn't love the person she is involved with.Would you need "material proof" that she loves you?
A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (24 September 2007):
Its hard to say from what you have written whether or not shes with you for what you buy for her or for you yoruself!
I guess you have to look at the picture as a whole. You mentioned this one time that she wanted you to buy her a dress...now if this was the only occasion I wouldnt say she is wth you for your monye. However if it was a constant on going thign, where she expected you to buy her all sorts of material things then you may have reasons to be a bit more worried about her motives.
And as for your first question, do girls need material proof for love? No they dont. Not all of the girls. If a girl is materalistic then obviously she will need it, but if shes a genuine down to earth girl then she wont need it. However, most people are materalistic I think, so goodluck finding a girl who doesnt need some material proof of love.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): I think is better to ask urself, what ur looking for in this girl? yeah , are u using her for sex and company? Doesnt have to have a lot of money to make a girl happy but if u have and not willing to spent a penny on her , well Think she has completely right to dump you ! Sorry for this, but i think ure the problem here not she!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): How can u prove love if not by actions, be it in material way or any? She seems uncertain about you loving her,probably thats way she asked to you. We give "thing" to people we love, be it emotionally, sexually or and metirialy... I dont see reason why not get that dress, get it if u can , and see what will happen. Maybe she simply needs it at the moment, to make herself sure.Hardly i know any woman that likes fat boy without money :) Joke but true
hope was helpful
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): Yes girls like when a guy has enough money to support himself & treat her to some things now & then. That doesn't mean you have to be rich, but a man who can't support himself is a HUGE turn off. A question for you is: are you using her for sex?
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