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Does she truly love me or is she just obsessed?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Gay relationships, Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 November 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 18 November 2008)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I've been in a relationship with this girl for 2 years now. It is long distance, we dont see each other as often as we would like but we still have managed to stay together this long. Don't get me wrong we break up a lot because I believe it is the distance. I've never been in love before but I truly believe I am because I have never felt this way about anyone. She is extremely controlling. My friends think I'm ridiculous because to avoid an argument with her I will listen to her "rules" (like not going out), and she lives a thousand miles away from me.

We fight so much about the dumbest things. She will break up with me when she gets mad, and after a week of not speaking we get back together. She tells me how it was the most miserable week of her life. That she can't live without me, and how she just stayed in her room and cried all the time. But it's always me giving in and calling. If she was this miserable why didn't she call me? Is she that fucking stubborn? Sometimes I think she's just nuts. When she gets mad because she doesn't get her way, for instance if she asked me to stay home and not go out and I go out she throws a temper tantrum! She gets so mad and hits herself. I just dont understand this.

The last time she came to visit me a friend of mine text my phone and she went psycho because I was gonna text her back. She got so mad and hit me and said it was because I hit her. I didn't lay a finger on her but in her head she thought I did. She doesn't want me to pay attention to anyone. She is so jealous

I feel stupid sometimes to still be in this relationship but I care so much for her I want to make it work. I feel so depressed when we're broken up. I almost feel like I need her. She says the same about me. When it's good it is really good but when it's bad it's effin horrible. I'm so confused! Can anyone make any sense out of this?

View related questions: depressed, get back together, jealous, long distance, text

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A female reader, michele21 United States +, writes (18 November 2008):

michele21 agony auntOh I can make perfect sense of this, I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years, she is extremley jealous. She has hit me before and we fight all the time she goes through my phone, won't let me text anyone if I do it in front of her she asks me 50 questions about it.... it drives me crazy... if guys look at me she freaks every time we go out I gotta keep to myself, if someone comments me or says anything she freaks out about it on me and on them, I don't understand it at all and I ask her she says she just loves me so much she doesn't wanna lose me or have anyone take her away from me but it pushes me away badly. I love her with all my heart but you can't be in an abusive relationship, she sounds a little worse than my gurl and I've lived with mine for 2 1/2 years and you guys are doing a long distance thing ummm... thing you just need to talk to her seriously. Why are you guys apart how did you meet??

Normally when she accuses, it means she is guilty for something... I don't know sweety I'm in the same thing so I can't say much cause when it's good it's great but when it's bad it's horrible so I understand what you mean... stick with it if you love her but don't let her abuse you like that and make you feel as if you're not a person, you have to have a life and go out and text friends, it's unhealthy not too.... does she text on her phone and have friends? Are you that controlling too??? write back and let me know...

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A female reader, Foxy Roxie United States +, writes (18 November 2008):

OMG, why do you this to your self? Your not going to live your life if you let her cintrol you this way,,, not good. Listen, you need to get stronger. If you let her keep steping on you, she will distroy you. How I know this you ask? I lived it with the same girl for 5years. One day I said, fuck this shit, I don't care, if she wants to break up and never call me again, her lost! Guess what? Not even two weeks went by when she started to text call me with any excuss. Till she gaved in, lol. It felt so good that she finally broke down and stated to change. That crazy bitch, turned into a nice pussy cat. See the trick is that she got you in control, she knows that you'll be there, now do this, don't give in, go out and have fun in that time, 2nd don't think so much about it, if she really loves you. She'll call. 3rd, tell her, how much you love her, but your tired of hurting. That you can't take it. Tell her, I will always love you. Trust me, it seems hard to do, but it will work. If she loves you, it will work.... trust me

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