A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and this girl was friends, and she had a boyfriend, she would always tell me about how horrible of a boyfriend he was and how he doesnt listen to her, he was never there for her, etc. etc. So she broke up with him, and she started being with me, so we had a great time together to the point where i felt like we were starting to fall for each other. So she becomes depressed and wants to get back with him and she does, but never gives me a full reason why she broke up with me. So she stops talkin to me as if i did something to hurt her. Now she is engaged to him, but she keeps her distance from me, because i know she still loves me. She gives me those looks again, she told me she missed me, she still trys to kiss me, and still tells me that her fiance gets on her nerves like she did when we first met. Sooo my question is, does she still love me and does she still want to be with me? Because i love her and i still want to be back with her even though she broke my heart.
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male
reader, lovehatelb +, writes (21 May 2008):
No offense to women, but man, they are very confused when it comes to who they love; almost as if they're torn between what they say they want and what they really want. It's as if they live in conflict between the two. Then comes along a guy they want and meet a guy they "say" they want (meets the other requirements). So, what do they do? they want them both. They want your heart and intimacy but the other guys everything else. I don't know if I am explaining myself correctly, but I think guys like us get caught in the middle because they know we love them. That is their safety for using us, as if they know they can get away with just about anything, and we will still take them back. My advice, get pissed off, put what YOU want first, send them to hell and watch her come crawling back; assuming of course, that she actually had a real attraction to you in the first place. It is a risk, but man, it is worth it because they are just using you... PERIOD. I feel you guys, be strong, F**K them and watch them beg for you. Get what you want out of them and when they feel the treatment they are most familiar with, they may just turn a new leaf toward you. Take a risk, what have you got to loose? Use them the way they use you and you will at least get something out of this RAW deal. Good luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2008): I have the same issue.. My ex left me after 2years. She got married and told me it was meant to be. I told her what would happen detail for detail and sure enough it did. He turned out to be a liar and a porn addict. Then she starts talking to me after all this has happened. I told her to come back to me. She has 3 kids which I can understand would be a issue moving around too much. She told me the same thing, she is not sure what to do. She knows she would be happy with me, but she said she has to fix herself before anything. So I am still without a answer as you as to move on or wait. Because she is well waiting for. But do I want to waste my time waiting for something that may never happen as well?? I wish I could just open up a womans head and see exactly what is going on.. So good luck man.. I feel your pain.
Chris
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2007): Honey this must have been so hard for you...
In my opinion I know which may not mean alot to you. But I think you really need to get over this girl she isn't healthy for you aT ALL She sounds like she is just picking you up and dropping you whenever she feels like it, Please for yourself forget about her if you still want to be with ehr then you need to have a tad of dignity ask yourself:
"Is she by your side(Physically +Emotionally)"
I don't think she is, I know and understand how hard it is to get back up into the dating game when you've been gutted like you have. But please give other LADIES(notice I called "her" a "girl")a chance to make you happy, theres loads out there .. just waiting for a kind hearted guy like you to come and sweep them off their feet, Start looking for them!
=) Good Luck
Lynne x
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A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (14 November 2007):
 Well it does sound like she is a confused young lady. She obviously loved him or she wouldn't be with him. However loving someone doesn't make it the right thing to be with that person. There are many reasons that she is still talking to you and trying to kiss you. One of those could be that she loves you too.
She could also know that you two had a connetion and that you love her. You were there for her when she needed you before and you still are. However she should try to figure out what is the best thing for her life. She shouldn't play with your heart. It may not be intentional.
As far as the fiance getting on her nerves I am sure she knew all the pros and cons before she went back into the relationship. She did go back to him and even allowed an engagement to aspire. Talk to her about why she did this. You have a right to know. She seems willing to talk to you about him and the relationship they have together.She is also well aware of what you will and won't put up with.
Be her friend and let her know that you care. Tell her that you will not try to bother her but that you are there to talk to. Don't let her use you though as a stepping stone or to make him jealous. Let her see your sincerety and the you she cared for. Tell her that you can wait but that she will have to make a decision. Don't let her kiss on you. You are not her emotional punching bag.
She obviously feels close enough to talk openly to you about things. Comfort her but be careful what you say or do so that you won't be blamed if they break up. Step back and let her make the decision that she must. Only then will she be emotionally available to reconnect with you completely. She may or may not love you and if you tell her you have to know for sure. Then if she can't decide on letting him go to be with you, move on. Stay her friend but do it from afar. She is too dependent upon your emotional connection already.
I hope that you two can get things right and she will have the ability to choose well. If he isn't treating her right now he probably never will from the sounds of it he has a pattern of being a real stress in her life. If she doesn't choose you appreicate her for whatever choice she has to make. It won't be an easy one I am sure. Been there done that!
God bless you both and help you along the way.
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