A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello all. Just needed a little advice about my ex. We were together a year and had some right ups and downs mainly because of her moods, which in turn made me moody. It wasn't very conventional as she is very independent and a little selfish, as am i. We are very similar, yet stubborn and often had stupid power games going on. Now, just before it ended i wanted more (we live seperately and don't really share friends etc)and she was resisting and she ended up splitting with me. A week later she was grovelling back and we chatted and i basically told her things had to change. Then straight away she started acting out again, so i split with her. The problem is i have thought about her every day. That was four months ago. We have no contact. Now our paths have crossed again at work in that i have moved to her building. We have exchanged texts ranging from nasty at first on her behalf to nice, but don't really see each other at work apart from me seeing her looking out of the window at me every day as i go in and at dinner. She has said in her text it's a shame things have moved on, but when she hasn't seen me for a couple of days i get a text asking if everything's ok, as she's not seen me. We will have lots of text, e-mail contact then she will be nasty and back off then go soft again. Last contact was quite a nasty text after getting on so well earlier in the day so i have just left it at that because i think she is confused. We both have had little outbursts in texts but guess that goes with the confusion and also been nice. What i want to know is if someone is nice and nasty to you and you catch them looking at you through the window daily is there still feeling there but she doesn't want to admit it? Its like love hate. If she has moved on why is she behaving like this? I do want to build bridges but not when shes playing up. Im backing off. What do you guys think? I do want to talk to her but know she will probably be nasty and say there is nothing to talk about things have moved on as if to prove a point/be stubborn. So why the other behaviour? Hope you guys can help. Thanks!!!
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male
reader, Paladin  +, writes (9 March 2008):
 You would have to be totally out of you mind to start this relationship back up. Do you both have feelings for each other, I would guess from what you wrote yes. But what those feelings are is probably the remnants of what little good may have existed. You two broke up for a reason and having second thoughts is natural. I seriously doubt either of you are changing even if you think you might. You might get a few good weeks out of it but in all likelihood you will be back in the same miserable mess you were. Regarding the window games, she's looking because you are too. If you weren't you wouldn't know she was. This stuff is childish and is going to get you back in a mess. Move on and let her do the same.
A
female
reader, Arcada +, writes (9 March 2008):
Hi there,
She definately has feelings for you otherwise she wouldnt be botherd. I think she is waiting for you to make your move and when you dont she gets annoyed. If you want to give it another go, be honest and tell her, tell her you want to give it another go, if she says no, stop contacting her and move on and tell her this.
Good luck!
xx
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