A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Been with my girl for about 5 and a half months. She's two years younger.I love spending time with her, but we only get to see each other about once a month.On social networking sites she will sometimes ignore me, wait for me to start the message, and pretend to be busy.Once we went to a party and she got heavily drunk and flirted with people, and tried to kiss girls and boys.I asked her not to drink after that but then we went to another party and she made me look like an idiot in front of other people, saying she had to ask for permission to drink.Also, she never tells me how she feels. She was a virgin before she dated me, but she always initates sex, if I turn it down, she gets offended.She's fine with kissing and cuddling, but if I say anything about us, or her, or how I feel, or compliment her, she gets all awkward and says its 'cringey'. I know she likes me though.I want to tell her I love her so I used the dinosaur line... but she rejected it as cringey, which hurt.Do you think she loves me, or she's just shy and has walls up? What's going on?
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 February 2013):
I unfortunately have a suspicion that you are a bit of a poodle to this girl. Hate to say it,but I was once there. Every sign that I saw in my ex, are the same signs that you have now:
You only see each other once a month, which isn't enough for a couple that are young and haven't been seeing each other for that long.
She doesn't initiate communication with you, and will actively appear busy when you try to initiate with her.
When she was drunk, she was trying to kiss other people. Now, she embarrasses you by making it appear that somehow she has ask for permission to drink.
She can't emotionally open up, but is relatively at ease with sex (a sign of great insecurity, which is a bad sign)
And finally, she rejected your moment of admitting how you felt as 'cringey'.
Yep, no doubt about it, you remind me of me. I didn't read the warning signs at the time, and chose to pretend that 'I know she likes me). A month later, on my birthday, she cheated with her ex.
In short, this girl has problems that you can't solve, and I think she's taking the piss a bit. Much better to move on from her now, or you can be sure that it will just get more painful for you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2013): She probably is a little bit shy, but not completely, if she was still able to get heavily drunk! She probably is still not comfortable being in a relationship or receiving complements. I know when someone tells me I'm cute I go all red and hunch up into a little ball. She is probably not the most romantic type of person. She's seems more reserved. Don't do the things that she says are cringey, and be neutral with her, she might love you, I'm not sure but you'll just have to be really, really patient and see. Hope this helps xxxxx
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