A
male
age
30-35,
*iammac
writes:Right, I'll try and keep this brief. Just under twelve months ago, I got out of a serious relationship with, to date, my only girlfriend. I found it hard getting back into the dating game but I'm finally starting to make some leeway. Now there's a new girl who has just started at my work. She's really cute, has got her head on straight and is generally a really nice person to be around. But I never made a move because I new she had a boyfriend. A few nights ago, my colleagues and I went out for a big night. She came along. We chatted all night and got along really well. Then she told me she recently broke up with her boyfriend. The rest of the night, she was all over me: hand on my leg, resting her head on my shoulder, linking her arm with mine as we walked and eventually holding hands. She then invited me to go clubbing and meet her friends. It was a great night and I had loads of fun. We caught each other again on Monday but she wasn't really talky and i just get the vibe that she's not interested anymore. Basically, I really like the girl. And I think she likes me back. But just the then and now has thrown me off a little. Is she doing just because she's gotten out of a relationship or does she genuinely like me?
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male
reader, liammac +, writes (15 September 2011):
liammac is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo be completely honest, it has been a little weird.
Her boyfriend broke up with her about a week before we all went out. I could tell she was upset how the relationship ended and not necessarily that it DID end.
In saying that, communication has been a little low. I tried making conversation on the Monday afterwards. There were a few little chats. Later in the week it got better. We we're talking a lot more.
But now it's kind of fizzled out again. She's quite introverted and doesn't speak a lot where as I am quite outgoing and extroverted.
Maybe all these things are playing into one another, I'm not sure. But I still really like her.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2011): I'd be careful with this one. Any girl after a break up - especially long terms ones and even girls where the split has been entirely amicable - are insecure when it comes to other men. They want another man's attention to reassure them that they will move on from their ex and to make them still feel attractive. It sounds to me that your night out together did that. Unfortunatly that means it might not be about you at all. If she's not as friendly now - it could be any number of reasons. Maybe she's embaressed to admit some of her flirty behaviour came out of her break up (she's going to want to keep that out of her professional environemnt), maybe she's rebounding. But if you really like her, you've got to let her deal with that on her own. If I were you I'd just play it by ear. Don't push, see how things go when your out socially and get to know her better. That way when she is ready you're going to know about it.
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A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (12 September 2011):
 It's hard to say.
When she told you she recently broke up with her bf, did you get any sense of who ended that relationship? Did she seem wistful, a little sad, or on the other hand, perhaps sort of relieved that something that wasn't working was now over and done with.
She MIGHT have thought afterwards that by being all over you that she was moving faster than was wise - especially if she was upset over the breakup and maybe was searching for a little comfort and affirmation from a new guy - you.
At present your best course is to continue to be friendly, but do not pressure her for another date. Stand back a bit and see how it goes. If she really is over her previous relationship, and does like you, she'll most likely let you know.
Good luck!
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