A
male
age
36-40,
*een_There_And_Back
writes:So I recently asked for advice on a question of mine. It was regarding my ex telling me she was pregnant with my child and then not talking to me for a week.I can now extend this problem of mine by saying that it's now been almost 4 weeks. She comes over after a week of not talking to me. crying, she comes inside and i could tell she'd been drinking. she starts to go on about how it was all me that messed everything up...blah blah blah. the same routine i've gotten from her months ago when we broke up. maybe it was my fault and i've appolagized up and down to this woman and took my lickings. anyway, she tells me that she had an abortion and then wants to go to bed. okay, we go to my room and she wasted no time...right to sex. the next morning she calls me this other guys name in random conversation. what? she leaves to go home and haven't heard from her since. i now know that she has been staying with this guy (started dating him a couple months after we broke up) i still have feelings for her more than i ever have. i feel used and lied to. Why are women so screwed up in the head?
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female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (13 September 2011):
 Hi,All I can say is that I am glad that you are aware of what kind of person she is. I know it's difficult, because you love her so much, but you know well she's not good for you. It must be difficult for her to go through a difficult situation, losing a baby, that's probably why she's behaving so irrational. She's in pain... Be supportive of her, but try to move on. Who knows few months for now you both can get back together? But now, clearly she doesn't know what she wants, not ready to be faithful, and to be in a committed relationship. I am afraid that if you don't move on, you will only keep getting hurt. I hope you feel better, make the right decision for you. I am sure she's a good person, but she not good for you. I think you deserve someone that will love you back, respect you, be honest with you, don't lie, and don't hurt you. Good luck
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (12 September 2011):
 Let's go right to your question..... "Why are women so screwed up in the head?"
The answer, of course, is because they hang around with us men, and keep trying to understand us.... and there is NO WAY that that can ever happen.....
I assume you don't want any other comments... such as, about how she made you look like an idiot... and you fell right in to her trap.....
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A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (12 September 2011):
 'Women', as a whole, aren't screwed up in the head. I will forgive that ridiculous comment, though, because you are hurting.
In truth, it appears that both of you two are 'screwed up in the head'. Seriously. She is emotionally abusing you; lying to you and dumping every possible amount of guilt onto your lap, most of which is probably undeserved, because you will not only take it, but apologize for it all... and you still want her?
She had an abortion and wants to jump back into your bed? She is playing you - and of course she can - you are allowing it. She is playing that poor sap she is living with, too.
You are really letting yourself down here. Of all the people on this planet that you should be able to count on, it is you. You deserve better! Allow yourself to have better!
Do not accept any more calls. Do not let her into your home. Do not let her pass ‘Go’ and collect $200. Distract yourself from the temptation of thinking about her by keeping busy with things that feed your soul and keep you happy. Go hang out with friends and meet new girls. There are PLENTY out there who are looking for a great guy just like you and who DESERVE a great guy like you.
Be good to yourself and stop letting her use you.
Good luck! :-)
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (12 September 2011):
 Maybe because you broke up with her only to continue sleeping with her? You're making a mess for yourself by doing this. If you want things to not be messy, screwed up, crazy, then stop mixing things up. You're not a couple any more. Stick to it! You don't have sex together, and there is no need for you to involve yourself with her. As long as you stay clear of her and start respecting your own decision to end the relationship, then you wont have this much drama and trouble.
This entire situation is created by yourself, so do not blame the lady. Sure, she's not a walk in the park, but it could have been easily avoided. You said your "ex" was pregnant with your baby, so you had sex with her after you ended it with her? First mistake. Could have been avoided if you kept your pants on.
Second mistake was to sleep with her again. Now don't get me wrong, I tell women to never sleep with their ex again either. But because of this you now feel used and lied to, hurt by her calling you another man's name etc.
The solution is to STOP SLEEPING WITH YOUR EX. Then none of this will happen again.
If your ex wants to be with you, and you want to be with her, then she and you will have a talk about it and see where it goes before you start having sex again. As it is, you're just having sex with an ex and no strings attached. If you're unable to deal with that then you can't be having sex with her. And you can't be blaming her for your own lack of restraint.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2011): Do the same, you get the same.
Your the only one who can break this destructive cycle
Good luck x
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