A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 16 and my boyfriend is 34. We met on the Internet, but met at the mall to go see a movie where there were alot of people. At first I thought all he wanted from me was sex, but i was wrong he treats me right, doesn't pressure me to do anything but we do talk about sex, and he loves everything about me and I feel the same about him. My mom knows about him an is worried that he might try to hurt me but I know she's worried because I'm her daughter and I understand. But he's not like that. I know this is considered rape if we ever have sex but we've talked and we plan on being together for the long haul and I really like him, but is it wrong? You really can't help who you like.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010): If he'll wait for you until you're 18 then he sounds like a keeper :) If not, there are other fish in the sea. Good luck
NightFairy
A
female
reader, cocoqueen88 +, writes (11 August 2010):
 guy please you're only 16 and he's a grown ass man. he know what it takes to "groom" you into what he wants. honeypie is right. what do you guys even have to talk about? you haven't lived your life yet.
I don't really have an issue with the actual age gap. i have an issue with your age. you are a CHILD.
and let me let you in a little secret... every guy you date as a teenager you think you'll be togther "for the long haul". snap back to reality ma'am and listen to your mother. she know's what she's talking about.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey everyone thanks for all the suggestions they really helped me. Even though I want to be with this man me and him have decided to wait until I'm 18 an legal to be together. We have decided to still talk on the phone and text, but we agreed that weshould wait so there won't be any problems with other peoples thoughts.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010): Tottally agree honeypie. I'm really surprised people would even agree with this, or say it's 'fine'.
If this man is actually a 'decent' guy, then it must be the fact he can't get anyone his own age/can't talk or mix with people his own age or hasn't got a lot going for him (such as a house, car, a lot of money, etc). Which is why he feels the need he has to turn to younger women (girls) as people that age won't expect much, as older women will. That's ONLY if he's decent. With anything else, it clearly means he's not normal, up to something, a pervert/pedophile - like and very strange.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 August 2010):
 I think it's kind of wrong. 18 yearsage gap at this stage is a HUGE gap. YOU are an adolescent - He is a mature adult. I'm sorry, for me it's borderline pedophile behavior. Seems like he is grooming ( & molding) you for when you are of legal age and I don't like it.
I'm not saying you are a child, but if a 34 year old is having a relationship wit ha 16 year old he can't be very mature.
If It was any of my daughters I would not be happy about it.
However, it's obviously not my life. I just hope you don't jump into stuff you aren't really really ready for, one way or another.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2010): No your fine, just as long as you willing to kewpie behind closed doors.
Also... If you have sex it is statutory rape!! And he will go to prison and probably never be able to get another job, so don't do that to him
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2010): I find it hard to believe a normal/decent guy of 34 can want a long term normal relationship with a 16 year old girl - someone who's either just finished school, or still in school. So yes, basically he wants a relationship with a school girl.
I'm sorry if this may sound a little harsh, but this is the sort of attitude you WILL receive from a lot of people. Are you prepared to put up with the constant comments/talking/whispering? If so, that's the least of your worries in this situation. How long have you known this guy? Don't you wonder why he was searching the net for a 16 year old girl to meet up with? And now he has, you're already talking about sex? I'm sorry honey, it doesn't sound right at all to me.
People may have different opinions on this matter, but I do not agree with it. I think maybe you should listen to your mom. He's old enough to be your dad.
If you DO decide to stay with this man of twice your age then I'd advise you to be careful. I cannot prove whether he WILL hurt you or not, but yes, be careful.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (10 August 2010):
 In the end you have to do what makes you happy. People will judge you as long as you two are together and sex is considered illegal for him until you are 18. No one can tell you how to live your life so no it isn't wrong by my standards. I will say be careful with him though, there's nothing saying he isn't a really good guy but it is natural to think of him as being a big problem.
Hope you are happy with your decision and if it means anything to you I'll be one of those people who won't judge.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2010): An age gap isn't wrong, what would be wrong is if you let this bother you. You're still under age so you have to be careful. If in about 2 years time you feel the same way about him and he about you no one can stop you.
Nightfairy
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