A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my wife tens years and married five . She recently left me for about the third time 6 months ago. We have an 8 year old daughter who is not biologically mine but i have raised her and love her as mine. Each time we break up wife does not let me see my daughter and is quite nasty to me. We have always had a very volatile relationship we were arguing 3 days after we got married. Everyone tells me that i should not go back with my wife. That all is doing is controlling and using me. When she left me this time i read a text on her phone that she sent to her mum saying she was only with me for my money. (I work she never has). This time with the split it is different because i met someone else. This girl at work who told me she like me earlier this year , i had always liked her. We never done anything about it and the girl always kept away as she knew i was married etc. however in sept i started spending time with her and it has been so good . She is such a lovely person. I went on holiday on my own for a week and when i got back i couldn't wait to see her again. However since i got back my wife has started contacting me, she has heard i was seeing someone and it has messed my head up. She let me see my daughter when for the last few months she told me my daughter hated me. She is now telling me she misses me and wants to come home. Everyone tells me she only wants me back cos she doesn't want anyone else to have me and its obvious as she didn't want to know before. I just miss my daughter so much. I had to stop seeing the girl at work as i need to clear my head. People tell me I'm a fool if i take my wife back and she uses me and uses daughter to control me and that we will just fall back into arguing and just split up again eventually.Should i take her back, will it work out?
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female
reader, llifton  +, writes (19 December 2013):
 Wow that was all confusing lol. Well my answer still remains the same. your ex doesn't seem very pleasant.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIm the person who asked this question. I am a man not a woman. It is a friend who posted this for me as i really wanted to get some opinions. Sorry for the confusion but i am geniune.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (18 December 2013):
 You're right. I hadn't noticed that.
Not sure if you'd be liable for child support, but you should speak to an attorney just in case.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (18 December 2013):
what everyone has failed to notice is that you are not a man. you are a woman. this being said, you unfortunately have no rights to your daughter. this is the horseshit of being in gay relationships. not being recognized under the law is painful and difficult for reasons like this. she legally doesn't have to let you see her if she doesn't want to. but it speaks VOLUMES of her character.
if i were you, i'd stay the hell away from this woman. she sounds terrible and i have no idea what you see in her. take some time away and move on. then give this new girl a real go. she doesn't sound psycho and awful like this ex of yours.
good luck!
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (18 December 2013):
I'm afraid 'everyone' is right. It's very simple really.
The more you need your wife (not financially but emotionally), the easier you are for her to manipulate. If you have another woman to satisfy your need for companionship, then you no longer need to rely on your wife and she no longer has control over you.
Your wife cannot afford the competition. If she could threaten you into returning to her, she would.
You should speak to an attorney and find out exactly what your rights and responsibilities are. You may be liable for child support payments even though you are not the biological father.
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (18 December 2013):
 YOur wife sounds like a manipulative bitch. Take her to court and get shared custody of your daughter so she has to let you see her and move on with your life.
Your new lady sounds wonderful and you deserve some happiness in life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2013): How can you stay married to a woman who has left you three times and manipulates you by holding her own daughter up for ransom? What everyone has told you is correct.
Honestly!? Do you think this woman wants you back?
How long will you play the game; while she uses her daughter as a pawn? It's nice you love the child; but you are not her biological father. You can't let blackmail be the reason you keep a wife. That's crazy.
There are so many horrible scenarios that come to mind.
Divorce her and leave the child out of this drama. You don't even want to imagine the evil she could conjure from all this.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2013): Really? Even when you said now that you saw a text that you are still in her life bcos of your money! Well goodluck bro with taking her back!
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A
female
reader, Lieutenant +, writes (18 December 2013):
She told her mother that she was only with you for your money. People don't say stuff like that to their mothers as jokes; she meant it.No one can really give you a certain answer that it will or will not work out because they're not God. Nevertheless, from the little history that you've given, it doesn't take an Einstein to see that your wife is mostly trouble and the likelihood of having a successful and happy relationship with her is slim. Whether she wants you back because she doesn't want anyone else to have you or she's running out of money, those are really terrible reasons to want to be with someone. You didn't say anything about love; someone who is vengeful enough to prevent you from seeing your child (biological or not) and telling you that your child hates you, is probably also bad-mouthing you to that child. I doubt that she loves you and if she does, she sure has an odd way of showing it. My response is no, don't take her back. Get a divorce and actually try to have a happy and healthy relationship with someone who is not a spiteful bitch.
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