A
female
age
51-59,
*onesome
writes:My married boyfriend is scared to death of his wife. I bought him a cell phone and now I havent heard from him in three weeks but he is listening to all my messages is there any hope he loves me still?? His wife and him have not been happy for six years and when i came along he tried to leave and she threatened him harm and to take the kids away.... Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Cateyes +, writes (13 September 2007):
 I am so sorry to hear about you getting fired. I can't even imagine and I can't believe that even happened to you when your personal life has nothing to do with your job. I know it is hard on you as well as your children, however, see this as a blessing in disguise....he would have done this to you.
My thoughts are with you and I will pray that you get a new BETTER job with more money soon. Take care and God Bless to you!!!
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (12 September 2007):
 Sweetheart thats terrible ad i can sympathise when they have decieved you AND your kids. I was angry with someone for that. But the anger does pass and one day you seem to wake up and not give a sh** anymore to be honest! It was all a new emotion for me the anger and took me about 3 months to lose it, but now it goes right over my head and there are loads more fun things going on in my life at the moment!
So hang on in there and try n keep busy, time is the only friend!
Good luck.
C xxxx
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A
female
reader, lonesome +, writes (12 September 2007):
lonesome is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI finally talked to him and he said she had changed and that he was going to try to make it work. He gave me back the cell phone and I havent heard from him since. When I found him he was scared to death she would find out we have talked. She came to my work place and since I have been fired and going through bad depression. NOt only did he lead me on but my two sons also. We are all heart broken. Thanks for the coments.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2007): well if hes not happy he shud leave her but have u eva thought that just mayb hes just telling u they not happy wen probably they r , he just wants his cake and eat it , and at the end of the day if he was serious about u then he wud have left her, wake up home wrecker
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2007): He is not your boyfriend If he has a wife you are just sex. Have some self respect leave him and stop listening to his lies. They may not be happy but they have to sort that out. If women and girls could keep there knickers on for two seconds married men would not find it so easy to stray.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2007): Does your married boyfriend still love you? Good lawd, I sincerely hope not!Look: he is married, whether happily or unhappily makes no never-mind. This means he has no business pursuing a relationship with you - or you with him. For heavens sake, "go away" (you spoke of when you came along) and leave them to get on with it.You are asking for - no, not asking, begging - for trouble.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (6 September 2007):
 If your married boyfriend is still married, then he does not love you enough to have divorced his wife, regardless if he says otherwise.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, Cateyes +, writes (5 September 2007):
Remember the saying...."when playing with fire, your gonna get burned"? Well, your playing with it and YOU WILL get burned!
Calling you or not, if he's not literally with you, your being played. IF he really wants to be with you, he would have been. Children or not, if he is THAT unhappy - 6 yrs, he would have left...especially IF he really loved you. And what he said about the wife is nonsense!
Sorry, but those are the facts....until I am proven wrong!
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A
female
reader, bemused +, writes (5 September 2007):
 Some really solid advice from other posters here. Pay paticular attention to the person who 'got' the married man she had the affair with and had nothing but grief. The grass is NOT always greener hun. He may have used you. He may have had feelings for you but you need to live in the here and now. There is and will be nothing but pain here for you. Put one foot in front of the other and try to move on here. Keep your dignity and your pride.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2007): Let it go,he has a phone to call you,if he wanted to continue he can easily pick up that phone and call. You dont really want him,it will never work.Even if he did leave his wife,it is a major hardship when it involves children.Until those kids are atleast 18 years of age,you would be struggling. Plus the added fact ,if he cheated on his wife, he will end up doing the same to you eventually.Find someone who is true to you for who you are and not be used as some piece of meat for him to get his stresses out on.I been through this,my husband left his first wife for me, the first 10 years was a major struggle 2 kids child support,we had nothing. I ended up raisng the kids,lost most my friends,become very isolated ,my world was those 2 kids making sure they were ok.My husband in the first 10 years 2 affairs,i let it go because of the kids,the next 5 years he had another affair.After the kids were stable and on their own,as tough as it was,i started over.I am now single and very proud of myself,love my stepsons ,they mean the world to me,but i had put my life on complete hold for 18 years.I wish this outcome on no one.So my advice,let it go,he isn't worht the effort, or the time, he used you especially if he hasnt even had the guts to call. Then if you add stress now,his wife tosses him out,he comes to you,not because he loves you, but, because he has no one else to run too. Do you really want to be that person.
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (5 September 2007):
 Hun, I really really doubt that this will work for you. He's married and with children, staying with you would mean that he'd lose that. You need to step away from their relationship now and find someone who's single. He's used you for sex and now things have gone bad with his wife, to him, you are no longer a concern. He's had what he's wanted so never talk to him again. I'm sorry to say it hun, but it's over. There's nothing more you can do. He's obviously made his decision.Get rid of him, get control of your life again and find someone who's gonna treat you with the respect you deserve. You're worth more than what he's making you feel - his bit on the side. Get out there and show him that you don't care.I'm sorry you get messed up in this lovely, but pick your self up, dust ya self down and realise that he was a waste of space. What ever problems he now has with his wife are his concern and not yours.Take care. xx
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (5 September 2007):
Hi
First off...How do you know for sure hes listening to your messages?
C xxxx
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A
female
reader, tina1696 +, writes (5 September 2007):
 sory but your boyfriend is leading you on, having his cake and eating it! in this day and age people dont need to stay together for their children and if he realy wanted you, then he would find a way to leave and have good access to his family. Perhaps you will learn from this experience that most married men would have relationships behind their wives backs, will when caught always opt for their family and the "other " woman left behind. I cant say i sympathise with you, why didn`t you end it when you found out he was married in the first place?
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (5 September 2007):
He should be scared of his wife. The legal system treats divorcing men with children very harshly. He has already assumed heavy obligations by marrying and having children. Imagine your expectations if you were in the place of his wife.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2007): Who says they are not happy? Sorry but this is a classic one. The blokes always claim they are not happy (and women) and pass on this story of woe, but in reality they are having their cake and eating it. They are having a bit on the side. He will never leave her and the kids for you and what do you expect. Please do not expect me to condone this action of yours. What are you doing with a married bloke in the first place. Get rid. Get a single bloke of your own and walk away from this messy triangle before you cause any real hurt. Sorry but i have no sympathy for you and you get all you deserve and if that means tears then i am sorry to say this - but bring them on. Stop this now, you have the power to do so.
take care, you are playing with fire, and i know which one of the triangle will get burnt.
xx
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