A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Does he really fancy me?Hi! My fella is a typical man of few words - and doesn't like to show his "emotional" side! - I have often wondered if he really fancies me at all. Anyway - today I asked him what attracts him to me - thinking he would say something like because "you are hot" or "you are sexy" or "you are good looking" etc etc - but instead - he just said "because you are always there for me and have "big boobs!!"Now correct me if I'm wrong - but do these reasons make a man "want" a woman? - I know lots of people who would stand by me - but it doesn't mean I would necessarily fancy them!So does my man fancy me at all or is it just respect he is showing me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your answers and thanks also to PuzzleSolver - I do agree that some men (especially this one) have difficulty expressing their feelings with words!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2010): He sounds like the typical kind of guy who has trouble expressing the important things in life. When he says "because you're always there for him", he's meaning alot more than what you'll actually hear in words. Guys typically don't have the same ability to turn their deepest emotions into words, so you're left guessing, as you are now, what they really meant by it. Next time you see him, ask him what he meant by that, and he'll most likely come up with a scrambled, confusing and mixed together set of explanations which attempt to express what he really meant. Listen closely to what he says, and guaranteed, you'll get at least something more descriptive out of it than the first go around. The boobs compliment was shallow, at best, but his intentions were most likely to do the opposite, and make you feel appreciated for everything that you mean to him. It appears he made an attempt at telling you your most complex AND obvious features or aspects that he likes about you. Alot of guys also have a tendancy to do that, which unfortunately causes alot of confusion and upset in many relationships. The reason they pick the most extreme descriptions or explanations is because like me and how I type in here, they know that unless they go on and on, they have to come up with a couple of good examples only, and let you go from there, whether you're left upset or not. It's a communication glitch in alot of men, and I find myself having the same difficulties at times, expressing what I really mean to my wife, and instead will state the obvious, or go completely abstract, like a painting. Your guy did both at once, so it looks alot worse than if he did one or the other, but I know from how I talk, he meant alot more than what he said, and you may never know all the ways he feels about you. The only way you'll continue to get a half decent answer out of him is to ask him, "What do you mean by that", or "Why", etc. Delve deeper everytime, by following his first answers with more questions. It might feel like you're interrogating him at times, but you'll have to be persistant, even if he appears annoyed and frustrated by continuing. My wife's got good at doing that, because otherwise I'll just hold alot in. I feel too pressured to come up with a perfect answer on the spot, but I can think about her same question an hour later when she's not around, and come up with exactly how I should have brought it out to begin with. It sounds like he likes you alot, but he's very intelligent and a poor speaker at the same time. Catch him at times when he appears not to be busy, and he'll open up alot more, as well. He may not say the right things sometimes, but over a period of time, you'll be able to piece everything together, anyway. If he tells you you're too nagging or irritating when you ask 'why, why, why' or 'how come you feel this way' tell him you don't like when he doesn't explain his answers properly. He'll get better, and respect you for wanting to know.. Alot of people will look at the compliments he gave and say he's using and vane, but don't get discouraged by those conclusions. I feel this guy is alot more complex than that, going by the sentence he strung together. Have faith in how he cares for you, and hopefully my gut feeling is right. You might find you just can't stand how he spits things out, and want to leave him anyway, but I would work on him first, by following one question with at least one more question, and see how that goes first. I feel he likes you in alot more ways than he's letting on.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (15 July 2010):
 Is he good to you in other ways?...does he take you out?, do you do things together?, any romantic gestures?
A lot of relationships become stale. Men typically have trouble expressing their emotions in actual words but if he's nice and caring in other ways, he's probably into you.
Just because he's not saying what you want to hear might not mean he doesn't care.
If he's not treating you well, then it's time to discuss ways to ignite the spark again.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (15 July 2010):
I'm pretty sure he does fancy you, even if his way of showing it wasn't exactly the most romantic.
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