A
female
age
41-50,
*abarc1
writes:Does my ex love his new gf if he does not leave me alone after i've told him to? I don't know what to think!!?My ex and i dated for 5 years and were engaged for 2. I called the engagement off this past march because i was so scared and wanted to be 100% sure because i had never dated anyone else and was just nervous. Anyways, he started dating a new girl 5 months later and i was devastated. I cried and went through that horrible depression and i wanted him back.. Of course i tried to for the first couple of months but i finally realized that it wasn't a good way to go about things and new the best was to give him his space and let this run it's course because i knew i couldn't compete against a new girl. I told him to never speak to me again aslong as he was with that girl because it hurt way too much. The first time i saw him after 1 month had gone by, i had to speak to him about the house we had together. That night he told me how much he misses me but that things are going great with that girl and that he thinks about me all the time and he is confused and gets feelings when he sees me and that he hasn't ruled me out. He ended up making out with me the whole night. Shame on me of course and i ended up depressed again. I reminded him about how we couldn't speak anymore. Well on xmas eve, after not haveing any contact with him for 6 weeks, he sent over a $200 gift card and had even baked me a pumpkin pie since he knew i liked it so much. I didn't know what to think, i immediately started crying and didn't understand why he doesn't understand why i don't want to have any contact with him, it's like he's teasing me. I tried to give it back the next day but he begged me to keep it and said that he thinks of me all the time and that what we had was special but that he's seeing how things go with that girl but that he still likes taking care of me. I had snooped through his phone before we had cut off communication and saw where he had told that girl he loves her and she loves him. The day i tried to give him back the gifts, he said that anything i wanted he would give it to me. I asked him what this new gf would think of that and he said she wouldn't like it. And i asked him what she would think if she knew he was kissing and hugging on me at that moment and he said she wouldn't like that. Apparently this girl has no clue about anything. Before we had ever cut off communication we had hooked up twice(which i know we shouldn't of done) and kissed, he even grabbed me that day(xmas) on my way out and intensly started kissing me. I just don't know what to think, i want him back so bad, it's been 5 months and i'm sick of crying and being depressed. I've done things to improve myself, i graduated from college a few years ago but have gone back to become a teacher, i bought a house. I took myself out of the picture because i knew it was the best option but it seems like he finds away to keep himself in there eventually after time passes and he even has all of my stuff in his room. I mean could he really be in love with that girl( i don't doubt she is a good girl) if he thinks of me and cares about me that much??? What should i do if he tries to get me something else or find someone way to make his presence known??? I told him again this last time that it would be the last time we ever spoke or saw each other again aslong as he was with her. I just feel like if he was truly in love with her then he would just be moving forward without looking back...........
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depressed, engaged, kissing, my ex, teasing Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, lalybug2008 +, writes (2 January 2009):
 I have to agree with DoubleM... it's not only men that behave this way. Women do it too.. it's just more common for men because they're typically known as the "Players". Many immature, insecure men base their existance on their EGO. And they believe that having more than one woman is the way to live. That way, they'll never be alone. They'll always have an open door somewhere with someone. My current boyfriend is that type of person. It's a very hard relationship to maintain. I've been with him for going on 4yrs (with many break-ups involved where he would go back to his ex). He has a way with women and it's like no matter what he does neither one of us will ever close the door for good on him. I don't get it. I don't understand why or how people can be like that. But it's a very real behavior that exsists. Keep looking forward and keep on the path of which is you.. let him go. You don't deserve the heartache that he has brought to you and keep bringing to you. Because when you TRULY love somoene... the LAST thing you want to do is hurt them. Good Luck!
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (2 January 2009):
 As a younger man (I'm an old man now), it was always fun to have at least two or more women for comfort. Yes, I'm admitting that I was naughty and wild at times, but was faithful when married. Anyway, your ex is simply keeping you around for extra sexual activities as long as you are willing.
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