A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend had never had sex until me and know he wants it all the time but i do not know wether he is actually still in love with me ? ? my boyfriend is 17 and i am 16 we were all okay until i had sex with him and then he started to take advantage a bit, i love him but not sure he feels the same anymore. when ever i try to talk about somthing he changes the subject on to something sexually, i did not fall for this crazed sex mad freak, i fell for the loving guy he was at the start. i need to know is this just a phase ? ? ? ? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008): Firstly as you have discovered Intimacy and sex are not the same thing... you can be more intimate holding hands and kissing on a park bench or enjoying a film at the cinema than in bed. Sex simply requires two willing individuals and no emotional attachment whatsoever.
I perceive that at the moment he is acting like a little kid that has just been given a new toy, the only problem for you is that the new toy you have given him is your body and he wants to play with it all he time, by posting on here you feel your needs aren't being met in his single minded pursuit of sex and you are clearly concerned that you are being used.
To answer the question you need to review the course of your relationship and see if the sexual relationship was mutual, out of fear on you part that you would lose him, or pressure applied by him to initiate sex. You don't say how long you were going together, before the sex was initiated
My advice to you is that you avoid opportunities for sex, you don't have to just accept that everytime you meet you have to go somewhere and have sex. If you feel you want to do something else then say so, and don't be swayed be the you don't love me or the sulking, that is emotional blackmail and not love.
If you find that he is not interested and all he wants is to get you alone and get into your pants then he isn't being loving and don't be fooled into thinking having sex is being intimate... it isn't it is just sex.
You then have a choice of staying in the relationship in which his sexual needs are satisfied but your emotional needs are not and in which there is a real possibility that when the novelty wears off, there may be nothing to left to support a lasting relationship or breaking up and finding someone who can supply all your needs in a truly loving relationship
A
female
reader, amybaby +, writes (25 October 2008):
 he's young and he's probably just excited because he's had sex. he's probably just still getting that buzz.
hopefully, he will grow out of it after a bit.
if he doesnt settle down then you probably will need to talk to him, serious talk. let him know the score and tell him how you feel.
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