A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is it possible that my boyfriend masturbates to his ex girlfriends facebook page? He used to watch a bit of porn everyday. I didn't mind this but he said that he did it out of boredom (he works mornings and evenings and has a lot of hours off during the day). He said it wasn't a good habit and so he pretty much dwindled it down to once a week. Problem I have is that he does search his exes (and other people) on facebook. I'm an insecure jealous and paranoid person but I am currently in therapy trying to sort out my issues... Still get the crazy thoughts in my head sometimes though. We had a few fights about one particular ex of his - he had a lot of feelinggs for her and her son and I kept bringing her up and asking him questions (I didn't realise but it was mostly her son that had made the relationship hard to et over) they broke up a year and a half before we started dating. Anyway, he's been looking at her page quite a bit lately - I know I shouldn't be snooping. He tries to be honest with me though and says its his way of dealing with his feelings. That he knows they will be truly gone when he looks one day and doesn't feel anything. We are working through this. He is a trustworthy guy and loves me - tells me everyday and talks about our future. He shows that he cares a lot too. My paranoia however has led me to believe that he is looking at his exes page and masturbating (irrationally I believe this is because they had a good sex life and he doesn't look at porn anymore). However rationally I think he would find that to be a creepy thing to do to anyone and she has a lot of pictures of her son on her page and her profile pic so I can't imagine he would get off on that. Also she doesn't have any sexy pictures up and he doesn't go through her pics. Just looks at the profile...We have a very healthy sex life that has probably gotten better since he stopped the porn watching. However sometimes if he takes ages to come( he often does but has also said that I'm the only girl that has ever really made him come regularly) and I think the worst. Should I be worried?
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broke up, ex girlfriend, facebook, his ex, insecure, jealous, porn, sex life Reply to this Question
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female
reader, theres_always_a_loophole  +, writes (16 July 2013):
 No, you shouldn't worry. It doesn't sound like it's even a remote possibility. You said he doesn't even look through her pictures. You also said she has no sexy pictures up. The only time I've ever heard of a guy masturbating over facebook pictures is if a girl is constantly posting herself either wearing a bikini, or posing seductively in other skimpy outfits. Even then, I think most guys would choose porn if they feel the urge to masturbate.
Focus on the positive things in your relationship. This should help you put the negative thoughts out of mind. You mentioned your sex life has improved. Do you really think it would have improved if he was masturbating over her? No, I think it would have gotten worse if that were the case. Even worse than if he was still using porn, because there would be emotions to go with it, where as porn is just a visual aid.
It sounds like he misses her son more than her.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 July 2013):
 I doubt he is masturbating to her pictures.
he has said that the child is the issue with his detaching not the woman and I don't doubt it.
but he needs to work that through just like you need to work through you lack of self-esteem that causes you to be jealous and insecure and snoop.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (16 July 2013):
Facebook pictures aren't enough to warrant masturbating.
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