A
male
age
51-59,
*hand
writes:My ex left me after 19 years together. I tried desperately to make efforts to sit down and discuss things. But she didnt want to know. Within three weeks she told me she had moved on and had found someone else.That really hurt because I turned up at her workplace hoping we could talk but instead her new found love turned up in her car to pick her up.I found out recently that she has moved at least 200miles away from her friends and family. She hasnt made no contact at all. I seen a very helpful counsellor. I relised that she handled the breakup poorly and she might be happy now, but does jumping from one relationship to another work, even if tou have been cheating or emtionally left the relationship a while ago
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male
reader, colinsdad  +, writes (6 April 2008):
Excellent query!! take it from a soon-to-be Divorced man, it's REALLY for the BEST!!
My Wife of five years began sleeping with a much older man she was taking Classes with and eventually moved in with him....they were even engaged last year while we were still married!!
After sitting back and doing MUCh soul searching, I realized that my wife had been "jumping" from relationship to relationship her whole life! She treated our marriage like some sort of High School romance that was completely disposable!!
Do yourself a favor as well and take some time to get over your wounded pride and hurt feelings. I started dating a wonderful single Mom and things feel apart after I found out about what my Wife had done...It ruined my relationship with this woman (I had been separated for over a year at this point). Take your time and truly put out there how you feel and deal with everything that's on your mind! Repressing things and denying what's right there in front of you will only bring more heartache! Good luck to you!
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (5 April 2008):
 I don't think that works. You need to digest what happened to you, why, you need your closure, and then you move on and find someone who will make you happy.
You have a new beginning, man!
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A
female
reader, loops +, writes (5 April 2008):
Personally no I dont think it does. 19 years is a hell of a long time and takes a lot of getting over, she is possibly using this man as an emotional backbone for a while to see her through the break up. Yes some 'rebound' relationships do go on to form successfull relationships that last, however a lot of them don't. Time should have been taken for her to get her head together and work things out, and grieve as such and she clearly hasnt done that.
However, at the moment your main priority is you. You need to give yourself time to hurt and heal, this is an individual thing and you shouldnt feel bad for any of it. You need to get everything out, the anger the sadness, talk to people, but try your very best to leave her be in this process, it wont do either of you much good unfortunatley.
I hope you feel better soon, take care
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008): Some people don't realize the emotional consequences when they have a failed marriage. Men and women alike will find a replacement while in a marriage, they may feel strapped to end it because of finances and kids.
Not sure of both of your situation and the causes of the detachment between you, but I'm sure the chance of her repeating them again in the new relationship will be high.
Sometimes, we assume a situation and react accordingly, having affairs or treating the partner badly.
What is important for you is to understand what happened, what caused it, what may have fixed it, then move on and enjoy your life. It won't be easy, but you need to look out for yourself and your own emotional stability.
I feel for you and the troubles you've been through. Take care!
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