A
female
age
51-59,
*bsticalfree
writes:This might seem like an odd question but when a straight woman has a lot of gay male friends is this a turn off for straight men? Background I moved to an area last year where being gay is considered illegal and is sort of undercover inotherwords the gay community is tight and a bit secretive and HUGE. Because of the strong religious influence in the area it is taboo to be gay and I wonder if it is then more appealing . Because there are a lot of self-proclaimed gays and also straight men who go with men but don't consider themselves gay. At my workplace, neighbors and even friends made socially are overwhelmingly gay . I don't mind this but when I have a party or even go out it is like 85 percent gay males. Because I have some gay friends they seem to be open in telling me but.... I wonder if this scares the straight men I have dated off? Sadly, my gay friends seem are interesting and fun to speak with whereas I seem to have met rather young and immature straight men that into asking for immediate sex and not that interesting to speak with they also seem to be rather in demand and so don't have to try that hard lol. So my gay friends are more enjoyable to spend time with than them :(. Recently one of my gay friends introduced me to another gay couple as 'okay with things and a gay hag" UGH! I replied look I don't care what your sexual preference is but I'm your friend because you are fun and kind and I've got my own life! In fact I probably date more straight men than my gay male friends date themselves which they find odd as most women here complain that they are lonely. Still... I seem to be having rather short relationships I thought this had to do with the transiet nature of this place i.e. a lot of short term work contracts but now I wonder if it because they are uncomfortable hanging around a bunch of gay men? What do you think is it a detractor for straight men?
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female
reader, Jayney Y  +, writes (24 September 2009):
 In a word....yes. Gay men are great fun to hang out with, but it would be a bit much for a straight guy to be thrust into the gay culture when getting involved with a straight woman. That's just expecting way too much. No different than someone trying to shove religion down your throat when you start going out with them. Eventually you get sick of their trip and move on.
A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (24 September 2009):
 First, I think you might be spoiled by interesting guy-friends that have no sexual tension. Straight men are GOING to want to have sex with you, by definition of "straight". They shouldn't be trying to get you in bed immediately, but if what you say about the limited supply of straight men is true, they may think the demand for straights might mean they don't have to work as hard. There are kind, patient, genuinely good men out there, but in a drought of straight men, the GOOD straight men may be rare (if for no other reason than that most human beings are jerks).
But really, it comes down to the guy. If he is homophobic, yes he'll mind. If he is paranoid, he may think they're not all gay and some may be hitting on you, and he may mind. If he is insecure, he may think he'll never be able to live up to the standard set by gay men without swearing off sex as with you as well (since the gay men just want to be your friend, but straight guy has an obvious other interest). But if he's secure, accepting, confident, mature, patient, kind, trusting and genuine, he may be perfectly fine with it.
I hope you find such a man. They DO exist, but may not be the next guy you date.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (24 September 2009):
If being gay is seen as illegal in your community, then there are going to be males who won't like it. However, it also sounds to me like you're meeting the wrong men! Take your time when dating and really get to know the man! There'll be a goog guy out there somewhere. But don't just give up your friends. You do need a social life. lots of luck.
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