A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Am I just being paranoid over this or not?I am deeply in love with a man I have been in a relationship with for the last nine months. We work together and are keeping this under wraps because of the company rules.We are very close in all aspects and he says he is deeply in love with me.For the most part his actions and words say that he is. He is currently looking for another job so that we can eventually let our relationship be more 'public'The problem I have is that he enjoys flirting with some of the other women at work. He seems to attract them with his charming words and I can see quite clearly that he actually likes one or two of them in more than just a friendly way. He watches out for them, makes eye contact, even blushes around them.He knows it hurts my feelings, but still carries on with it. He even has one or two of them swooning after him.On more than one occasion I have walked in on him and another co-worker, and felt very uncomfortable as if I am 'in the way', this is beginning to eat away at me.I have in the past,been hurt badly by a guy who told me he loved me but was seeing my best work friend all the time.Does it sound like I am paranoid because of that, or is this likely to be my gut instinct telling me something?I approached the last guy about it and he denied anything was going on and that it was ME being insecure and desperate! He obviously lied!I want to tell my boyfriend how it's making me feel, but I'm scared that he will say the same thing and see me differently.What do I say to him so that I come across as confident but not paranoid and desperate, I feel like I'm waiting to be hurt all over again.I do feel that he means what he says, but am starting to feel that he is keeping his options open.I just need the right words to say.
View related questions:
at work, co-worker, flirt, insecure Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (9 May 2011):
 Trust your gut instinct. You have all the reason you need to. You tell him how you feel about it and what you suspect and if he replies with "you're just being paranoid" you tell him that either way, his behavior hurts you, the way he acts around them is jeopardizing this whole relationship because it will end up changing how you see him.
I hope that helps.
|
