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I'm very depressed after loaning friend money, she hasn't returned the money.

Tagged as: Friends, Health, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 May 2011) 1 Answers - (Newest, 9 May 2011)
A female Philippines age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Hi,

Just need some advice. I dont know exactly what is happening to me. All i feel is i am not happy. Im not happy to where i am, who i am, what i have now. Friends cant easily notice it, because i can simply go with them, laugh with them, have party with them. With my husband, he cant easily find it out too because i can always be sweet to him, do smile to him. I am a good preteder. But deep inside of my heart im so sad. Very, very sad. In the night when i go to bed' it will took me at least 5 to 6 hours before i can sleep. I know by my self, i am depress. Part of my sadness now is one of my friend, she cheated on me. She barrow a big amount of money to me and now im having a hard time to take it back and she is even more angry to me when i speak about it. Please forget the papers, documents etc.,that we sign or agreed about the money. Its too late for me to realise that she is uneducated person. And because she have a four children to feed, got no job same as her husband. They are both depending on my money. I want to stop communicating with them but i cant. Because i have to be nice to them, i want my money back. Its so hurting. Forget about the law, because here in my country, the law dont look for you if you dont spend to them. I want to stop spending more and more money just for my friend and her family. I just want my money back. This things makes me also so down. Another thing is. I dont really know what is going on with me. Im just not happy, i am not interested anymore to anything. I know, i can feel that i am depress, but still i dont want my husband see me that down. He do everything for me and i dont want him get feeling down just because of me. I dont know anymore what to do. The only thing i think at this time that maybe could help me is from you guys, to give me some friendly advice. Thank you so much.

View related questions: cheated on me, depressed, money

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (9 May 2011):

tennisstar88 agony auntI'm not sure if I understand your question due to a bit of a language barrier, but I'll give it a shot. Tell me if I'm wrong.

What I see is two problems here. 1. You believe yourself to be depressed and 2. This friend you're financially supporting isn't paying you back.

As far as the depression goes, you need to seek medical help from your doctor. Describe what you are feeling daily and they'll be able to find a solution involving medication or sometimes even personal therapy.

Now, this is where I get slightly confused...This "friend" who borrows $ from you, why are you supporting her and her family? Why can't she or her husband get a job or move back in with her family until they can get back on their feet financially? It's not your job to support them.

When she borrowed money did you have her sign a contract? You mentioned that in your post. She agreed to pay the money back but she has yet to, correct? Well, if you're still giving her money and she hasn't paid you back because she doesn't have any money to pay you back just yet. Or do you know if she's sitting on some money, that she's not telling you about?

The only way to get your money back if she's not giving it back is thru legal action with a lawyer. Especially, if you two have a paper agreement regarding the matter. If you don't want to do that, then you better hope she has one honest bone in her body.

Stop giving this woman money if you don't think she's going to repay you. That defeats the purpose of borrowing. In fact I would call that stealing.

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