A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Can this guy really be deeply in love with this girl?I have a college classmate/group member who I kind of have a crush on, but his relationshiup with his girlfriend is kind of questionable. Had a friend ask him if he has a girlfriend, and he said, "Yes, I love her." I dont know her personally but I did a little Instagram stalking and I feel like they're really different from each other.However, look at some of the things below and tell me how deep you think their relationship is given the facts on them both.Some things that make me question their relationship:-He is a international student, Middle Eastern guy that has come from a conservative country-He is religious-He seems to have much deeper thoughts than her. He talks about philosophy, religion, politics whenever we are together.-She is a "instagram chick" with over 4000K followers and only posts vanity, looks, her body, her outtings, her "bad chick squad."-She doesn't seem like the type to bring home to mom. Has pic where she's in "cowgirl" sex position on the bed with a dress/heels on. pics meant to highlight her butt, polaroids of her girlfriend pretending to lick her boob "for fun", slutty Halloween costumes where one of them was literally just lingerie and not really a costume, but just meant to be sexual-She still does the kissy face at age 26-Her friends probably would not really be able to hang out with any of his friends, as they are so different culturally, socially, language-wise-Her very best friend is just as revealing and sexually expressive on a site as she is.-I just feel he's very different in personality than her.-He's sleeping with another girlI'm not saying she has a bad personality, they just seem different. If they have little in common culturally, socially, language-wise and mentally how can they have a deep relationship?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 June 2016):
 Oh yes, he can be in love. Love is not always wise or prudent, and people fall in love with persons that can look like improbable matches to the outside observer.
Maybe they are happy with not having a " deep " relationship- just a normal relationship.
And maybe their cultural, social, language and mental differences will separate them eventually ; he will love her in the here-and-now, and then, when it's time to get married, he will pick someone from his culture and country.
Or maybe not. Who knows.
But in the meantime, now, he is with her, he likes her, he says he loves her.
So, in your shoes, I would keep my crush under wraps and under control. If he can overcome the various differences, he will stay with her . If he can't overcome them, he'll go back to Middle East and choose a conservative wife.
Either way, it does not seems there are many chances for you so I would redirect my attention to other guys.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 June 2016):
 Does it matter?
HE likes her, no he says he LOVES her. Now he may go back to his country or marry someone of his own background when he is done with studies, but in the mean while SHE is the one he is with.
Honestly, OP... if he is sleeping with someone else... he is a cheater and not a Keeper.
And if SHE is the "type" he likes (no, loves) then he goes for THAT type.
Reality and Instagram/Facebook /social media are not the same. That is her ONLINE persona. I swear I see people who online are oh so perfect, caring etc.... but in reality? Not one bit. She might be absolutely different in person. And if not, MAYBE that is what he LOVES about her.
However, HE has chosen her. End of story.
YOU are wasting you emotions and affection wanting to be with a guy who has a partner and a VERY different (than you) taste in women.
Tearing her down won't make you look "better" or mean that YOU are a better match. She is who she is, and you are you. Why not GO for a guy who will LIKE you for WHO you are? This guy has a different taste.
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (7 June 2016):
 No matter what you think of his choice in women, she is the one he has chosen, and as he told your friend, he loves her!
No matter that you feel he would be a better suit with somebody he talks philosophy, religion and politics (somebody like YOU for instance), he has a girlfriend, and more importantly, he loves her.
No matter what you think about their relationship, and if it is, in your opinion, questionable, she is his girlfriend, and he loves her.
Being as close to her and he is, he probably knows more about her than your Instagram stalking.
...............................
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