A
male
age
26-29,
*bjectivist Thinker
writes:Hello, in advance I appreciate any help any of you give.I've liked this girl on-and-off since the end of last school-year. I asked (in writing, as well as someone who knew her) if she had a boyfriend, and she said yes. Since the attraction was only a small physical attraction, I forgot about it after a day or two. You should note that after recieving said note and answering in the affirmative that yes, she was dating someone, she walked up of the auditorium (where we were at, w/the rest of the "class" we were in) for a few minutes. The mutual friend we've got (mentioned in the next paragraph) told me who he thought she was dating at the time, and said she was probably just nervous upon being "contacted (my words, not his)" in that way. Does that seem an apt reaction? Obviously I'll never know for sure, I'd just like to see what you think it was.At a pit orchestra / musical rehearsal (as I am in the pit and she's in a lead role) I glanced at her for a second, and thought she looked at me w/distaste, or perhaps just general apathy. I don't know if she recognized me from last year, and I suspect not, but it's possible. Again, I can't know for sure until I see her reaction to me in conversation, just wondering if that also seemed likely, or if I'm just over-analyzing.Since then, I've liked her a few times, only physically (not knowing anything about her or her personality/interests) besides that she seemed generally happy. However, just recently (maybe two weeks ago) I became curious as to whether she was single or still dating someone. A friend had a "*very* reliable source (his words, not mine)" and that source said she was in fact single.Since then, as she's now availible, my attraction has started up again, much more intensely. I've been told by at least 4 people that she's quite nice, and I think she's probably the cutest/most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life. While this does not mean we're suited mentally or personality-wise, I'd like to see where it goes, as it could end well.The mutual friend has said he knows her well enough to start a conversation and introduce us, and I think that should work out fine, seeing as at that stage (correct me if I'm wrong) the goal is more to make a pleasant first-impression than to be memorable in what I say; later on that'll come. However, I am not quite sure what to do after we have that preliminary conversation. Is it okay to just walk up to her and have small conversations after that, or to say a quick hello when I see her after that, or are more conversations w/other people better first? Does it seem odd or creepy to walk up to someone like that? Also, what are some good conversation topics that don't seem too... generic or lightweight? I know she's involved in the musical and I'm in the pit orchestra, so I could ask her how that's going, or something. I also play in a musical group w/her father and sister, so is asking how they are appropriate, or, again, is it too creepy? Does telling her I think she's got a good/nice voice seem alright, or is it better to let that wait until later?An obstacle I've noticed (which may just be my perception) is that in general we're a bit opposite personally, not in tastes or interests (as best I can tell) but in our general lifestyles: she's involved in sports, extracurricular things, and schoolwork (described as an "overachiever" and nice) while I don't really find myself to be all that active in school sans jazz band, pit orchestra and the like. I read classic novels, philosophical works and listen to music ravenously outside school, but that's really it for hobbies. She's quite energetic and happy-go-lucky, while I'm more brooding for no reason (not in a "Wah, poor me" way, I'm just generally low-key and not too joyful). Would that be that much of a problem, or no?Alternatively, I could just walk up to her and say something along the lines of: "Hey, I like you (albeit shallowly) but I'd like to get to know you", but that seems like it might cut things short if she doesn't want to take that route.Sorry for the cluster of questions, or if I'm being too verbose or jumbled. Tips, suggestions, ideas, recommendations, etc are all welcome. Thanks! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Objectivist Thinker +, writes (28 March 2011):
Objectivist Thinker is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnd if it helps or makes any difference, she's a junior and i am a sophomore.
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