A
female
age
,
*ipsqueky
writes:I have lived with my partner for 5 years and we have decided to call it a day. There have been so many problems this past year and he wont come to counselling with me. In order to support myself I have just started a full time job and bought myself a car (having previously been retired). We live in his house so it means I will have to find somewhere to live and it's not going to be hard on a typist's pay. He says I can stay in his house until I find somewhere but I am finding the whole thing so stressful it's making me ill. I thought life would get easier at 60 but having to start over is so hard. I know I am lucky that he is not pushing for me to move out but I find it awful living under his roof now the relationship is over. Has anyone else been in this position and how did you cope. Any help would be appreciated. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, pipsqueky +, writes (2 April 2011):
pipsqueky is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Dr Psych for your very helpful practical advice. I know that being a 'common law' spouse has no legal stature so I agree that I have no claim on his property. I have registered with local estate agents and rentals are very high in this area but I never thought about going to see a housing advisor. Thanks again for reading my problem and offering your advice.
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (27 March 2011):
 Hello, very sorry to hear about your relationship breakdown. If you are not married to this man or named on the tenancy/ lease/freehold then it is unlikely that you would have a claim over the property. I suggest that you approach the local local authority housing department. Many council's now have housing advisors to help people in situations of being on a low income and in housing need. This doesn't always mean social housing but there are other options such as a private landlord. If you are in employment and have any savings at all then you may wish to consider a shared ownership scheme - part rent, part buy. You are in an advantage to many tenants in as much as you have a job. Many landlords are reluctant to take on tenants who are unemployed and this gives you more freedom in the rental market. However your local housing advisor maybe able to point you in the right direction and it is worth seeing them for general free advice relevant to your local area. Alternatively register with all the rental/ estate agencies in your area stating your upper limit for rent and then they can contact you immediately when something suitable becomes available. If the situation with your ex is really bad then perhaps becoming a lodger for a while would be something to think about. The rent would be cheap and if it is owner occupied then it maybe a good standard of accommodation. Many people are struggling to pay their mortgages and they rent out the spare room as it is a tax-free income in the UK, and a good way to share the bills. I think you will feel better about the relationship breakdown once you leave.
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