A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My mom told me this"since you are now 14 and have a boyfriend I want you to be more careful with your actions. Don't do it it with him. It hurts to have sex for the first time and it hurts even worse to have a baby"is that true??? Does it really hurt to have sex? I know it hurts to have a baby but to have sex for the first time? Really? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Ngyzee  +, writes (3 May 2011):
Your mum is right, you are not ready for sex yet. You are still very young to be saddled with such experience. When you are older you'll enjoy it better. Just have a little patience. It could tear you apart if you get involved now. Pls listen to your mother.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 May 2011):
 Btw, the reason is bleeds is because the hymen is broken, the reason it hurts is not all about the hymen. It hurts because nothing of that size has ever been pushed up inside of you and you are narrow and the penis is big. So you stretch out, and that's why it hurts. The bigger the penis, the more pain.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (3 May 2011):
Yes, it is true. It depends on the individual, but for most women it hurts. For some it is very painful, for others it is a mild pain. The pain can last for days.
But other than the physical pain, it has an impact on your emotions as well. It leaves you very vulnerable and you can easily get hurt. You might also experience a deeper need to be close to the boy you have sex with, and most likely he is not ready to connect at such a deep level. This does go both ways, guys can experience this need to connect as well, but in my experience it tends to happen to girls, while the guy experiences more please and less emotional connection. What this means is that the relationship changes, and there will become a difference in the emotional connection, one wanting more than the other, which is painful.
All the feelings you will experience that come with having sex for the first time can be confusing and hurt you, even if you don't understand why it hurts. Which is why I think it is important that you are mentally ready for sex, even if your body is ready, your mind needs to be ready as well.
Sex can change how you and him relate to one another, and it could change into something hurtful to you. Unless you are mentally ready! At 14, I don't think you are ready for the emotions that come with sex, or the changes it has on your relationship.
Another point is that sex is something you do to make babies. Having sex means you are willing to take the risk of pregnancy. Are you willing to take that risk? Especially as you are young you easily make mistakes and don't use contraception correctly.
Your mother is right, listen to her!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2011): Yes well for me i remeber it actually hurt the first few times, because we took it slowly,after awhile you start to like it though, but yes the first time was the worst, not many girls do find the first time an enjoyable experience. Especially if your bf is only 14 aswell, its very important that the guy knows what he is doin,
especially if he is having sex with a virgin. If he didnt really know what to do he could possibly turn you off sex for life and make it the worst experience you ever had and sex should be a wonderful experience with someone you love and you loves you.
So my advice is to wait until you're that bit older, just so it will be more enjoyable experience and if he cares about you he will understand and wait.Its definitely not something you should rush into you need to be ready because there is method of birth control to consider aswell and its alot of responsibility.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 May 2011):
 It's so individual that's hard to say, I've heard women reporting the pain of their first time as everything from very intense to mild to nothing at all.
Anyway, if I were you I'f focus on the second part of your mother's statement : it's true, having a baby hurts a hell of a lot more than losing your virginity, and , while I am sure that later on, as an adult woman, you'll handle it somehow like every woman does, - now it's definitely NOT the moment to handle it, so make very sure it does not happen to you !
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A
female
reader, LilPixie  +, writes (3 May 2011):
 For most women it's true, yes. The reason it hurts the first time is because your hymen is being broken.
No one can tell you for sure how much it will hurt as it is different for everyone and for some it may not hurt at all as the hymen can be broken in other ways too such as swimming, bike riding, gymnastics, horse riding, etc.
Your mum is right though, you should start being careful. If you think you're going to have sex with your boyfriend make sure that you have some condoms or get yourself on birth control. Because I'm sure you don't want to get pregnant at 14?
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