A
male
age
36-40,
*arm
writes:i was hanging out with this girl for about a month, then following this unexplicable (literally, non-verbal) falling-out she started ignoring me, won't talk, and has immediately replaced me with another dude. she's 21 and i'm 27. is she that flaky/fickle, or is there something else at work here (or am i being vain).
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male
reader, Garm +, writes (16 December 2011):
Garm is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks. i kinda came to this conclusion myself over the course of the day. i'm so old, this stuff reminds me of jr. high, and almost got caught up in it til i realized i was a full grown man and had control over my emotions; she's still just a little girl.
at least 1 more year of school w/ the child. maybe we'll get to see her grow up a bit.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (16 December 2011):
 Just ignore her back.. not as a game, but as a matter of fact. Game playing is immature and annoying. Just be happy you didn't get more serious with her as she is this sort of woman.
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A
male
reader, Garm +, writes (16 December 2011):
Garm is verified as being by the original poster of the questionshe intentionally parades around in front of me, speaking to my friends for no reason (who drew this to my attention); she parades around w/ this other dude, but i don't see her looking nearly as cute when she's w/ him; she seems to always be everywhere i am, in my path, etc.--just to make me know i am ignored. i am quite sure she is playing games. how do i play back effectively?
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A
male
reader, Garm +, writes (16 December 2011):
Garm is verified as being by the original poster of the questionchigirl--she is literally ignoring me; she hasn't replied to my email, i haven't tried to call b/c i'll see her next semester anyway, but she literally goes out of her way to talk to my friends at school and make her presence known to me JUST so she can pretend i don't exist.
i can plainly foresee the interactions to follow; she will never respond to my email. I will see her next semester and she will make her presence known to me. she will occupy all of the routes that she knows i take at the same times, just to ignore me, or have me see her w/ whatever dude. if i confront her she will try to bust my balls or play dumb. her game is obvious. she obviously plays games. advice on how to play back?
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (16 December 2011):
I don't think this is about being flaky at all. Being flaky is going back and forth and not sticking to it, while you and her never seriously dated, you had a girlfriend, and you were just getting to know each other. So she figured out something didn't work, or maybe you weren't giving her enough attention for her to think you were interested, and she moved on. I don't think she went out of her way ignoring you, people not talking to you is NOT ignoring you. Ignoring you is when she doesn't reply to texts, doesn't say hello when you meet her, turns her back on you and pretends you don't exist. Well, if she's right out ignored you like that then I'd think something happened that made her not want to talk to you, and you should confront her about it.
However if it's just a matter of not being as eager as before, not messaging you (and you not messaging her either), saying hello to you but not asking to meet up etc, then I'd think she is just responding to signals you are sending out, such as you not being too interested. Maybe she thinks you liked someone else. Maybe she figured after months of knowing you and things didn't progress it wasn't going to work, maybe there was no spark, and maybe she found someone else who stole her heart. Then it isn't about being flaky at all, it's about you and her not being compatible.
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A
male
reader, Garm +, writes (16 December 2011):
Garm is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni have attempted to reconcile in some way. the last communication was a simple 2 line email: "hope you did well on finals, see you next semester," sort of thing, just to try to keep an open line, but i feel she is probably a master of ignoring. i'm pretty she was interested in me first because she seemed a bit taken aback when she found i had a girlfriend (before), and she seemed to really jump ship when i confronted her about her flakiness.
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A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (15 December 2011):
Its likely she never thought of you as anything but a friend. Maybe at one point she realized you were more interested than she was and bolted. Its hard to know exactly when all I have to go off is a small paragraph; for instance, I know nothing of the conversations you may have had or any personal issues she may have been going through.My answer: She's flaky and wanted to avoid confrontation of rejecting you in some way. Its not the way I'd prefer people conversed with one another, but there's not much you can do other than confront her about it or forget her and move on. Best of luck!
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