A
male
age
30-35,
*alshie93
writes:Me and my ex girlfriend are going through a time where she wants time to think about getting back together however she is so indecisive and cannot decide and everytime I bring it up she always finds problems with giving it another go even though she says she doesn't want to let me go.I recently decided that with advice from my friends, the internet and my grandfather that I shouldBe short with her if she speaks, but be polite, don't start conversation and if she is short with me don't text her back.She popped up tonight on chat, and said"I heard you've been talking to that blonde girl who was chatting you up"Now, even though we are single, and it pains me to ignore her and not push her for a decision, is this a good sign, am I doing the right thing?I want her to miss me when she is thinking on a decision, even if she is torn between moving on or giving it another go, what can I be doing actively (etc) to get her to come back and start missing me and not wanting me gone?Does ignoring her work to get her to miss me?I'm seeing her next week at a party, and I'm not sure how to address that, do I go and talk to her or what? Should I ignore her until then?Thank you very much if you can help me with this question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2010): Ummm yea ignore her! Make her come to you, if she is the one who broke up wit you then I would definitely ignore her. Don't follow the bullshit " don't ignore her that will push her away." It's the exact opposite of how it works. Now only will it help you get over her,( if your trying too)but it will also prove whether or not she still wants you or needs you in her life. Now if she doesnt want a relationship then move on unless you want to be friends and trust me you dont want that. All it brings is tension and awkward feelings or maybe it would be different. All in all my answer to your question is this YES ignoring her will make her miss you, because if you are not talking to her thats going to make her think what is going on in your life which makes her extremely curious. Ignore her for a good while like 3 to 4 weeks or even 2. Then when she texts you be casual and short that way it will make her miss you even more. Everyone knows that when your being ignored by someone you want...you want them even more.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2010): Dear Alshie93,
Yes, ignoring an ex can lead them to miss you. That is for sure just don't over do it if you want this girl back. But, you staying sweet and polite is a turn on to her. I would say dress to impress for that party and make sure you seem like you are so... happy. That will make her come to you and say hi, kiss her on the cheek and go about your buss... Then you will have her at your feet.
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup +, writes (27 November 2010):
 I agree with CaringGuy. She seems to be stringing you along. She won't commit to being with you, yet she won't break up with you fully and let you move on. She is playing with your feelings because she knows you love her and are prepaired to wait for her. Asking about another girl chatting you up shows that she wants you to feel bad about that and she wants you to only think of her in that way. But at the same time she won't give you a straight answer when you ask if she wants to be with you and makes excuses not to.
This girl needs to make up her mind. It's not fair to string people along. Either you love someone and want to be with them, or you don't. In which case you should move on and let the other person move on.
Next time you speak to her, let her know that you still love her and are prepaired to give it another go, if she feels the same BUT you are not going to wait around forever because you have your own life to live. Make it clear that after a coupld of weeks or so, you are going to start moving on. Say that she cannot expect you to keep hanging on for her. If she really loved you she wouldn't want to cause you distress, which expecting you to wait in relationship limbo is clearly going to do!
I know you do really love her, from what you have said and you do really want her to get back with you. But you have to put yourself first in life and think of your own happiness. It is not going to make you happy to keep longing for a girl who is unsure of her feelings for you. And you have to ask yourself, if she is unsure, is she really the girl for you? Wouldn't you rather be with someone who really loves you?
Good luck
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 November 2010):
Ignoring her won't work. It will drive her away. To be honest though, I'm not sure that's such a bad thing. If she's this indecisive, then realistically she can't care about your enough. This sounds like a case of a girl who has moved on, but doesn't want you to move on because she likes the attention, and I think you need to stop this.
What you would be better doing is, saying to her that you want to get back together, but that you can't wait around forever. Don't be afraid to push a bit, as you have very right to. She can't keep playing you this way. Set a time limit, say two weeks or so. If she hasn't decided by then, end it.
Just don't be at her calling all the time. If she wants to get back, she will get back instead of wasting your time with excuses.
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A
female
reader, 0000BraveHeart0000  +, writes (27 November 2010):
 It seems to me that you want her a lot more than she wants you. So, she wants you but how bad??? She is so indecisive about what she wants. You now stuck at a standstill in life and it should not be so because you need to keep moving. Some say, out with the old, in with the new. It is all up to you, what do you want?
Personally, I would approach this exgirlfriend and I would tell her that I have had it with playing games. Tell her that you want a decison now because it seems that the more you give her time to come to a decision, the more she comes up with excuses and have you hanging on a thread.You have to also take into account the reasons for you guys breaking up in the first place. I am sure that you do not want to end up in that same situation again. No, I do not think that you should ignore her to get her to miss you, you would just be wasting your time ans she would not be noticing.
Just appraoch her and demand the answer. You do not want to be waiting for her 2 years and only to hear one day that she found another person and you waited in vain. I still do not agree with getting back with her because the fact that you broke up meant that something is not right but you you love her , you have to be sure that she is on the same page before you pursue her again.
BEST OF LUCK!
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