A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met this girl some time ago during a rough point in my life. Everything was great. She was independent, beautiful, sexy and sophisticated. Above all real. I don't know why but once she showed me that she liked me I stopped seeing her. I have thought about her from time to time. I know that I hurt her. She recently contacted me asking me a friendly question. I couldn't help but respond to her eventhough I've been seeing someone. I let her know I'm involved but I don't want to dismiss her completely. Does this mean she doesn't think I'm a total jerk? I don't want to dismiss her or ignore her. What is the best way to go about this? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2011): I must say...your post has spooked me, as it is very similiar to a situation I am experiencing...only...I am in the position as the female whom you make reference....A little background....I reached out to the female via facebook who's in the position as you...My contact was motivated by a concern for her children as well as herself...I often think of them and want to be certain they are happy and healthy in addition to maintaining a respectful friendship between one another....While it is undeniable she hurt me tremendously, I am beyond the pain and harbour no resentment or anger....moreso....I do not maintain a desire to persue nor engage in a romantic relationship with her or any other individual at this point in my life, as I am loving being single not to mention I need a time out to regroup from the misfortune that I have endured with romantic relationship and dating over the past 5 years....I've traveled a rough road in that arena...and although it's been tough, I appreciate the positive that's sprouted from it....My point here is...Perhaps the female you speak of holds a purely platonic friendship motive with you, as do I with whom the female I make reference....Friendship is beautiful...as is Love...not every person clings to past hurt...or...holds an underlying ulterior motive to reignite a past flame....Relax...enjoy her friendship...keep it respectful...and if it makes you or your significant other uncomfortable...respectfully present such honesty to the woman you speak of and share a respectful goodbye....The female I speak of extended me a fb invite...I accepted...then...she retracted it....Why her unexplained change of mind, she did not share...however...I respect her decision....I am loving where my life is at this point...I have four incredibly loving platonic female friends, all of whom I love dearly and whom regard myself the same...We share a friendship soo loving that one might infer we are romantically involved...but no...it's a sisterhood...one where I have found more beauty in the friendship and love that I have reaped romance...I'm living...loving...and...laughing....Perhaps the female you speak of simply wants to be your true respectful platonic friend.....I wish you the best with your dilemna....TKSAR.....
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2011): unfortunately sometimes we dont realize the magnitude of how much a person genuinely loves us and is perfect for us until we resists their efforts, hurt them ultimately pushing them away an losing them forever. You have a chance to salvage it since she came back to you. Goodluck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2011): It sounds like youre not as committed to your relationship as you want to be because its not what you really want. Maybe you have unresolved or unfinished issues with the former woman. Maybe aligning your life means you have a clearer head and have the urge to give the former woman a try. Are you fulfilled with your partner? Is she someone who you want to spend the rest of your life with? If you can't answer with a fast unquestioned yes then dont waste anymore of her time or yours. Go for the woman your guts screaming for.
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx  +, writes (9 November 2011):
 Well I will say that one of the crulest ways to to end a friendship or relationship is to just cut them off and ignore them, but just because its the crulest way doesn't mean its unessacary. Why exactly did you cut her off in the first place? was there any particular reason? She clearly doesn't think your a jerk if she has kept trying to get back in contact with you, she probably misses you. I would be careful though, as if she does miss you alot she may well start having feelings for you again (or still has them) if you get back in contact. If your willing to give her a go and just see how you feel about her then go for it, but if you are happy with the person your seeing now and not intrested in anything more with her then a friendship isn't a good idea. It might sound crule but sometimes its the best thing to cut someone off especially if they have feelings for you and you don't have feelings for them as it just makes a normal friendship 100 times harder.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2011): She is probably wondering "Why?" as well--just be friendly with her. Maybe, she scared you a little b/c she was too good to be true? Sounds like you are still interested--go for it!
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