A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, Basically, me and my best friend, who I met through a mutual friend, back in October 2010. (Mutual friend is not in contact with us anymore, moved country)We both wanted to be friends, and she is my type, and she is 20 and im 22.Me and her live 2hours apart, but we first talked as friends, daily online (msn) for an hour or so. Then we intially texted and rang for like an hour a week. We are a long distance friendship. We have met around 20 times (9hour days), i.e once a fortnight. We ring eachother for the last 7 months daily for an average of 2/3hours a night. We also text daily. So in this recent period we have been getting real close (falling in love perhaps?) We are really close, at first, we just wanted friendship. and then 7months ago, I popped question, is there possibilty, if we get close to potentially start a relationship? At first she was shocked and said no,but now she has open up, and said maybe.Its a maybe, because her family are into arrrange marriages, and she is already lined up, and even though she doesnt want to do it, she will have too, and is resigned to that fact.I have triend to make her come around to the idea of us, but i only play out we are friends. We hug, and hold hands, we never kissed...yet. we get on soooo well.But is this wierd? Would people understand, if we loved eachother, and possibly wanted a realtion or even marriage, seen as we are 2 hours apart?Do people get that?Also, im worried that we just gna remain friends, i hope she dont want that, but recently (last time we met up), on the way home, i rang, and she was a bit off. It feels like she has cold feet, maybe she realises we are gna be relation, and maybe she just want friends. What shall i do? shall I ask her lets be a relation? do we know each other well?Does she like me that much? or does she actually just wants to be friends?Thankyou
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best friend, long distance, period, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 November 2011):
 I think she wants to go ahead with her family's plans, not because it is what she wants but because it is what will make her family happy. I don't think she will have a relationship with you while going behind her families back. If you are really serious about her well you both need to meet up and talk about this face to face. Tell her how you feel about her and ask her what she feels and what she wants. Tell her it would be hard for you to see her marry a stranger. Ask her to talk to her family to explain to them that she has met someone and see how they react. Do you both have the same religion and beliefs? Maybe her family would accept that you two wanted to be together, it is worth a try if it is what the both of you wanted long term. So talk to her and tell her how you feel.
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