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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I want to know if my boyfriend wants to break up with me? We went away for xmas - we had a huge fight - the first big one. We have been together for a year. The fight was that i received a text on my mobile phone from a male friend and told my boyfriend it was a girlfriend. the reason i did this was beacuse i wanted to have a great xmas day and for him not to be angry all day over a harmless message. He looked into my phone without me knowing. later that afternoon he couldnt hold it in - and blamed me for lying and said he cant trust me anymore. we made up the next day. i apologised sincerely and said i would not lie to him anymore. a few days ago - he was very tired and been busy at work - he works away in the mines. He sounded distant, so i asked him what was wrong - he said he couldnt stop thinking about what happened on xmas day. he has to try and get over it but he cant. he said it was the trust factor. he said he doesnt want to give up on me, hurt my feelings or break my heart. He said he loves me. But just need to think. we still talk or text everyday. but i just want to prepare myself for the worse. i dont want to ask him or annoy him about the relationship when he is stressed out and tired at work. What should i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008): You should just wait a while and give him the space he is asking for. He probably is just testing you to see if you truley like him and is willing to wait till he gets passed this. If i were in that situation i would just go on with my life like im not affected by it untill he trust me again
thats if you reall like him!?!?!?!?!?
A
female
reader, Reebe  +, writes (5 January 2007):
 Give him some space. you should of been honest, but you know that now, we all make mistakes. Just think how you would react if this had happened to you.
Send him a text telling him your are sorry, you love him very much, and you will gve him some space and wait for him to contact you. It will drives you nuts but it will sow you are taking his feelings seriously. He's letting you know by saying what he cares for you and he's just getting his mind round what has happened most men need space their not too good at talking about their problems.
A couple of days of space for him could be just what he needs. Every couple fights about stupid things and hopefully in a few weeks this will be forgotten.
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, Farris +, writes (5 January 2007):
 You really shouldn't have lied in the first place, but I guess the more interesting point was why you felt you had to lie in the first place?
Is it often that he gets upset when he finds out you've been in contact with other men? The message may have been harmless to you, but you obviously felt that it wasn't harmless for him.
The best thing to do is to give him some space (especially when he is busy with other things) to think about what happened and why he felt the way he did. You also need to think about why you felt the need to lie about it in the first place. A harmless text shouldn't be an issue. Once you've both had a suitable amount of time to think it over, you both need to sit down and talk about these issues.
Do you think he's too jealous of you with other men? Or purely over-protective? You need to tell him this and explain why you feel that way. Then you need to compromise on this. If he loves you then he shouldn't have a problem with you being friends with other people, but maybe you're inadvertently giving him reason to worry about losing you.
COMMUNICATE! =)
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (5 January 2007):
 Give him the time and space to think. Trust is crucial to a healthy relationship so if he does decide to continue on with the relationship, please don't break that trust again. Good luck!
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