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Does he want to be friends or more?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 August 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 9 August 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hello!

i really like this guy and i want him to be my boyfiend. The problem is, i dont know how to make it happen or even if he likes me!

The guys i have gone for in the past have been players that are very forward in their approach (so there has never been any doubt of their interest in me)

Refreshingly, this guy, in question, is a nice, good guy ...but that leaves me with doubts as to weither his friendliness is actually romantic interest or not!

So, we met 8 months ago through a group of mutual friends and i get to see him whenever we all get together.

He acts very friendly and flirty with me, but he is just a friendly guy in general, so i cant work out weither he like me or not!

Also, he has written on my facebook a few times out of the blue and if this was a normal guy friend, i would think nothing of it, but we are not really friends, so do you think this might be a sign that he is interested?

I don't want to just tell him how i feel, because i believe he should make the 1st move, as he is the man, and also, if he doesnt like me, then its going to be quite awkard as i will have to see him at friends parties in the future. and also, none of our mutual friends know how i feel about him and it would be like hot gossip!

And i can't ask our main mutual friend to find out for me because she is a big mouth and will just tell him!

so my questions are:

a) do you think he might like me?

b) how can i subtly give him the impession i am inteested without being too obvious!

thanks!

View related questions: facebook, flirt, player

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks for your advice, i'm going to a party soon and he will be there so ill let you know how it goes.

thanks once again

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (4 August 2010):

dirtball agony aunta) I think it's highly possible. "Nice guys" are notorious for being quite shy and not making the first move. From what you've described, he could be just being friendly. My mantra about men that I've repeated time and time again: Men don't befriend women that they aren't into sexually unless there are other circumstances that force them to. Some of those circumstances are work, school, or someone who he needs to deal with very often for other reasons. Chances are that he likes you, and wouldn't be turned off by the idea of something with you.

b) Use your body language. Talk to him and watch his reaction. Subtly watch him if you're in a group and see if he's checking you out. One thing you can do is break the touch barrier. Sit next to him while he's talking, preferably a one on one conversation with you. Gently touch his knee or something as you lean in to listen. Gauge his reaction. Ask him some questions about himself (nothing too personal) and attentively listen to his responses. Hopefully this will start a conversation where he will ask you similar questions. Tell him, "I"m glad we finally got to talk some more, I knew there was a reason I wanted to get to know you better." Then smile and give him a hug.

Now, because you want to be subtle, you run the possibility of him interpreting your advances as friendly. Even still, hopefully it will encourage him to seek you out for a private rendevous. If he asks you to hang out sometime, this is a great sign. If he waits to see you at the next get together, he isn't as interested as you had hoped. Even if he wants to hang out "as friends" that doesn't matter. 99% of straight men will only seek friendships with women who they are attracted to. Good luck!

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