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female
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anonymous
writes: Submitted this question before but there was an error so here it is again:- This guy and I have been close friends for just under 2 months but known each other for years. I am getting mixed signals from him and I think he is feeling the same way about me. We are both shy and sensitive so communicate by text more. I loved him being attentive - he’d text me daily, up to 4 times a day, but this time he hasn’t texted me since day before Valentines. I think I have done something wrong. On Saturday I told him I couldn’t see him that evening as I was genuinely very tired and thought I wouldn’t be much company for him. Everything was fine, although I think behind his joke he thought I didn’t want to see him. Anyway, we went out on Sunday and had a great time. He lingeringly touched my arm which gave me the impression that he is interested in me as more than friends; I enjoyed this and didn’t push him away. He spent time trying to impress me. When he dropped me off, I left quickly and I wondered if he thought I was giving him the brush-off. It was because I’m confused at the moment: I care about him and about my feelings so I don’t want to rush into anything. How do I give him a signal that I am interested in him as more than friends, but that doesn’t give him the green light to see me as a one night stand?Next day he sent me a text thanking me for an enjoyable evening. I returned one saying same with a playful comment to a question that he asked me (nothing sexual or offensive at all; just something you might say to be playful with a friend) - and I’ve heard nothing from him since. I’ve since gathered that a previous girlfriend messed him around alot so has this playful comment of mine has been misconstrued as me messing him around? I’d never want to do anything to hurt his feelings. Should I keep things easy to understand - eg. no playfulness? I thought men liked women who are a challenge with an air of mystery about them, who aren’t easy but that are also playful - I think all I’ve done is driven him away. I want him to see me as a warm, loving, fun and interesting lady; one that he wants to be around. Anyway, sent him an text today asking how he is - still nothing. I don’t want to send him another text (that will look desperate/clingy) unless I hear from him. So, guys, I want opinions: does he want to be just friends with me, a one-night stand or a relationship with me? Family members have said he is really into me. Is he confused of his feelings for me? I need help understanding his behaviour and what the next step is? If I have blown it, can anyone give me a clue as to what I’ve done wrong? Do I just hope now that he misses me enough to contact me again? I’m missing him lots.
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female
reader, amandairene +, writes (18 February 2006):
My solution is stop texting him. Communication is the key to any relationship and it is very early in the dating game, so hee needs and rightly expects communication. I am a firm believer in not playing mysterious games. If you like someone, let them know and show it. You don't have to jump into bed with him until you are ready, but simply going out on a few dates is going to start the relationship ball rollling, and that's what is needed here! It's not too much to ask for if that's where he is coming from. Stop stalling, and start moving!
A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (17 February 2006):
 HI, firstly have you thought that he may have no credit on his phone, may have lost it or it just needs charging and he has not got around to it.
It does seem like he likes you and you definatly like him so text him again saying that you are worried that he did not get your last text and that you would like to hear from him.
when he replies do you feel brave enough to ask him for a coffee in town on Saturday or pint down the pub, what ever but make the contact and make the date, be brave.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
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