A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i need help? i was married for 16 years together for 20 had 3 beautiful children together. built three homes without complication went thru a business deal with friends and got screwed.. my husband began drinking heavily and disconnecting from me..it progressively got worse i moved out trying to get my husbands attention. didnt work.. someone else stepped into his life and she completely turned him against me. basically when i was trying he wasnt looking and when he tried he never followed thru and his promises of being better.. i didnt not want a divorce i needed his attention. anyway he is still with this woman we been divorced for 2 years and its still so hard.. he acts like he hates me and will not communicate with me about the kids. him and his girlfriend moved into together right away and have her 3 kids and mine part time..i have not been with anyone since and am totally alone.. i know they think i am holding out for him and desperate but i am not.. i am sad everyday that my family is not together but he ruined later..he kept telling me we had to go thru this and later we would be togther..he has allowed his new girlfriend to take over my life and rub it in my face i went from having everything to living on welfare and watching them vacation and buy new things all the time..i still hurt..how do i move on? and do you think he still loves me and that is why he is so mean? i no he didnt want a divorce either we just let others predict our future cause we were both so broken down.
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female
reader, blindbetty +, writes (3 October 2010):
 Girlfriend, stop thinking about him...come on..start thinking straight...he is long gone.
I find it strange that you think he still loves you!
If he loved you he would be with you right?
I don't know where you live but where I live when you have "shared parenting" the ex spouse (not the childrens primary residence) does not have to pay child support...if this is what you have I would see if you can have it changed to you being the single parent and have the court garnish his wages for child support. This would see to it that money will come your way for taking the children on vacation!
Honey, there is a sea of men out there...take baby steps and do little things to make yourself feel attractive then get out there and get involved in doing fun things so that you have a chance at meeting someone new and exciting!
A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (3 October 2010):
 sounds like he is letting someone do the work for him. His drinking probably will still be the same. The new girlfriend may not feel for him like you did as you know him, she may be liking a change of life with him, maybe she is financially better off and is now going to make it difficult for you to ever get him back. Why would you want him back when you had to try your hardest to get his attention anyway. You need a fresh start. Make sure he is giving you enough to provide for the kids. You could also file for divorce then you will be able to be financially secure. After all, who supported him whilst he was building up the business? You have a right to be able to claim on this. He may not want a divorce because of financial reasons, but you need closure. I can't see things getting better for you so you need to be strong and get the ball rolling your self and get yourself a better, happier life. Hope this helps
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