A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi.I am 21 and have been best friends with my best friend for half my life. She means a lot to me, and i am closer to her than my family. We have shared a lot of experiences together. I really love her as a friend.However, she isnt a good friend. I always want the best for her, whereas i cant help but get the impression she isnt happy when anything good happens in my life. She can be very self centered and generally doesnt show me that she cares about me in the ways i would like. Deep down i know she values my friendship a lot but at the end of the day that means nothing to me if she isnt going to put that into practice and show that.What should i do? should i end the friendship?... I don't really want to do this, as it would be like cutting off a family member, but i can't imagine her changing so much as i would like, either. I have tried talking to her about it.
View related questions:
best friend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Moonknight +, writes (3 October 2010):
 There is always a leader and follower in friendships, i mean no disrespect by this, but you've been the follower, not that it's a bad thing and i'll explain why.There has to be leaders and followers, two extremely strong personalities don't get on very well forever, both always wants to be on top and right about everything and do things their ways, not enough room in the relationship for that.Since you've been friends with her for a long time i assume in your younger days with her she was pretty much happy always leading, that's fine... then you both grew up and life starts to change and you start to have your own high points in life, that makes her feel a bit jealous, because it's not her.For example... say you got married before her... that would really put a stab in her cake. she will be thinking... "that should be me... not her me!" and i highly doubt she would mean it in a bad way, this happens when a person is used to there ass being wiped their whole life.She needs to get over it! do not put up with it, because it will not get any better with you keeping it to your self, confront her about it, because she needs to accept that, this is your life and not hers and as a best friend she should share happiness for you when good happens and not be bitter as you've always share happiness for her.You will not loose her but she will be extremely upset with the confrontation, maybe wont even talk to you for a day or two, just remember your life is going where you take it, and that's different to hers. she must accept it.
A
female
reader, goodbyehello93  +, writes (3 October 2010):
 No, do not end the friendship. Confront her about it. If you really love her and she really does mean a lot to you, then you need to have a heart to build her up as a better person. You've been with her for half your life.. your opinion and thoughts about HER would affect her in a positive way. It says you have tried.. how have you tried? Just be bold and upfront about it and don't be scared. The simple questions "Why are you never happy for me when something great happens to me?" Obviously she's jealous and you need to clear that up before bitterness starts to build up in your OWN heart and you start to do the same to her.
...............................
|
