A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel like I'm at the age where I should be able to figure out whether or not a guy is interested in me but this is the first time I find myself drawn to an older man. I'd assume that indicators of interest would be the same regardless of age but I can also imagine him being better at hiding it than people my own age.We met a couple months ago (we used to work together but I've since moved to another job - we still keep in touch regularly though) and we hit it off immediately. It was just nice to talk to someone with remarkably similar opinions on a variety of topics - at the time I didn't see it as anything more than that. We just always had a lot to talk about.But I do find myself wondering if he may be interested in me or not. For all I know, he's just a friendly guy and there's nothing more to it. But it's always good to get another opinion...He (let's call him Jake) was always the one to initiate things - he suggested meeting up and gave me his number on my last day at that job. He has become increasingly tactile with me. At first, it was just standard hello/goodbye hugs. Then the hugs became increasingly affectionate. Lasting longer and longer each time. He tends to initiate the hugs and always puts his hands on my waist now when he goes in for the hug. He does tend to linger after hugs now - usually resulting in intense eye contact at a close distance - I tend to look away as it can be overwhelming in such a close space. He has opened up to me about his past - talked to me about things he can't normally talk about (I won't go into detail about this). He has mentioned a few times that different people have asked if I was his girlfriend. Not sure why he would mention this? I know people tend to gossip if they see a man and a woman who seem close so I don't think anything of those comments. A friend of his (we'll call him Dan) seems less teasing of him and often informs me where Jake is and that I should go say hi to him. I suppose Dan knows that Jake and I are close - Dan's never been teasing about it or anything. Jake has never been inappropriate with me or treated me with disrespect.I myself have slowly started developing feelings for him and I worry that might be clouding my judgement here - that's where you all come in! I hope you can help clear things up a little bit. Does he seem at all interested? I don't want to make a move only to find that I've not only made a fool of myself but lost a friend.(And to answer the inevitable - yes, he's single. He was in a relationship that ended not that long ago - it wasn't a serious relationship (she was openly sleeping with other men while seeing him) but I can perhaps see him be cautious about entering a new relationship regardless.)
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male
reader, Over 50 advice  +, writes (21 May 2015):
 Wow, talk about cautious. Ask him for a drink or a nice dinner. All the signs are there ask him out. Your afraid if you ask him out and he declines that will end your friendship? that's not much of a friend to lose. Quit wasting time get the ball rolling before someone snatches this guy up and you sit and kick your self for not trying.
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