| A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes: I have been texting a girl from school and we have been doing so for months. She is more popular than me and lots of people care for her. She is very nice, etc. Over time through texting we have shared personal things with each other. I am also a girl btw. I am not necessarily trying to date her, just know her better and enjoy her company. I had mentioned the idea of us hanging out to go walk, eat etc. She has said yes-in general to the idea, said she's busy-perhaps after some tests she had to take and prepare for, during summer when it warms up (to go walking), more recently said we would go out to dinner or something and lastly said we would find time to meet this summer.However I sent her a text the other week trying to get her to specify a time letting her choose her availability. She didn't respond and sent me a pic of a project she's working on this summer. So at this point I am confused and frustrated with our 'relationship'. On one hand I want to keep texting with her, but on the other I want to get to know her better and spend time with her, and if she is too embarrassed or does not want to hang out with me outside of school I am offended and question how much I mean to her, and will likely get hurt in the future. I am done asking her and will let her initiate texts from now on. I am thinking about giving her until this summer and then giving her an ultimatum. It could cause me to lose our 'friendship' but either way we would move forward.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2023): She does not want to hang out with you, she's fine with things the way they are. Leave a good thing alone and be happy with what you do have.
She's being unfair about not being upfront because she doesn't want the confrontation she's thinking she'll get from you or maybe she's afraid you'll try to demand explanations you're not entitled to. She's afraid no explanation she gives you will be good enough for you. You are being pushy about hanging out and to her, these hang-out ideas sound a lot like dates.
Don't "give her an ultimatum " or you'll find yourself blocked and worse. Leave her alone and let her set the boundaries, let her initiate the conversation, let her lead the conversation. Or just let her go and leave her alone, she just isn't into you
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