A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This guy fell for me really hard, actually we fell for each other. But he found me. From day one I knew he wanted to be with me. It took me a little longer.I wasn't ready for a relationship because of what I had been through and certain circumstances. He waited. After asking twice he never asked again, and waited. We continued to be exclusive and spend all of our free time together.Over time he stopped expressing himself as much. This led to insecurity on my part, because I thought he was changing. I found out he was changing because of rejection. He didn't want to keep asking a girl, and thought maybe I wasn't into him the same way. I was, I just needed time and changes in my own personal life.Arguements started, because of how insecure I grew, but all of the actions were there. He drove over an hour to see me every time he was off work, he called me every day to chat. I just wanted more proof that he cared for me. He told me I was beautiful, all of that.I would question him about his past relationship, because I was like, why are you not expressing yourself? He told me there is no comparison because I am much better. His actions are there but not his words. He comes to see me even when I am acting up, and tries to put me in a good mood.It got to the point that I think he wants to me make the moves, because he got rejected all this time(7 months). I don't want to jump out and ask him, I feel like he should try again, but with all of the arguements it seems like we need to heal. I start every single arguement, and they always start because I became insecure about what we have.I asked him for a couple days to myself so I could figure things out. He said he understood. I thought and thought, and I even made an appointment for counseling. I don't want to always freak out, I want to understand more. I realize it all stems from insecurity. After a few days to myself, I called him the other day to ask him questions. I asked him why it was this way, is he in love with his ex still? He just thought I was crazy and said "you were the one that asked for this time off to think". I told him yes but it seems like you dont care about me.He got mad and said " All i do is show you how much I care. I come over there to see you, you never come up to see me (lives an hour). I don't have a car, but he said once in a while it would be nice to take a train to his place. He takes me out to dinner, he comes and spends time with me.I freaked out when he said that, with all the arguments he's starting to feel different about me. I never imagined that because we truly shared something so deep. I wanted to renew things. That's why I asked for time off and professional help, he said besides how insecure I am, he still sees glimpes of me(the me he fell for). He thinks I can change it.Yesterday he was acting like he just didn't care. I told him to just let me know, because it is hurting my life. I need to either have him open up, or I will block him off of my phone. Not because I hate him but to make it easier for me. He thought that was childish and didn't understand. He said "do what u need to do"That made me feel he didnt care. And i think he didnt believe me. I called him and said so you don't care if you never seem me again? He said you blocking me doesn't mean that. I could drive to your place and see you. I just wanted to know he didnt want to lose me. He acted sooo nonchalant about it. Is this because he figured he could just drive over when I calm down in a few days? He called me a little bit later as I was callign phone company and he told me that what i was doing was dumb and childish. He asked me what I was afraid of, why would i do something negative like block him.He sort of opened up and told me that I don't know what he's capable of. He told me he could do a lot of positive with me. He told me that all hes been doing is waiting for me for seven months, only going as far as I permit. He said hes tired of being around someone who's afraid, and also said thats why I am in this situation. He told me that I created this situation.We talked a bit and then got tired and went to bed.I thought maybe that was the end....but today he texted me (we have a little inside thing, not really a joke)We have a certain time of day that we always text each other its like really specific. 11:11 we do it for positive vibes we just like it for some reason. Today he texted me at that time and said look at the time of this text.Does that mean he still feels for me? What the heck is going on? I am seeing a counselor tomorrow for my insecurity issue....I am just hoping that will help us . I need some advice on everything. Am i overreacting about him acting like he didnt care if I blocked him?
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male
reader, dannn  +, writes (4 March 2011):
You just have to give him the benefit of the doubt and trust that he cares about you. Perhaps unblocking him from your phone would be a good start if you want to make amends. Maybe try taking the train every once in awhile to see him, shoot him a text saying you really appreciate him. The age old saying do as you'd like done to you is a good motto to live by. I'm sure if you want things to be better with him you'll be able to make it work :) you both sound like good people
good luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2011): OP here, what does the text mean? He still is waiting for me? I am getting help for myself and for him. I want us to work...We have something special.
Why was he so careless when I said I was going to block him?
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (4 March 2011):
 Once I read that opportunity is a bald lady that you need to catch by the hair. You're splitting hairs, dear, and I'm afraid you've almost lost the guy.
It is about time you do something if you don't want to end up alone.
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A
female
reader, katweetybird  +, writes (4 March 2011):
He does care about you, he's probably just hurting from the rejection. For 7 months you haven't made any move whatsoever, so of course he wants you to make the first move. Yes you need to figure things out for yourself, but you also need to try and trust him. He sounds like a really good guy, he's just not saying things to you because he doesn't want to get hurt. He told you to do what you need to do because he doesn't know what else to do anymore. He's probably getting tired of waiting for something that he's afraid won't come. You need to try to open yourself up to him, because soon it might be too late.
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