A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, thanks for reading, and helping. My boyfriend and I have been together 2.5 years. There's always been "trust" issues on his behalf. I've told him countless times trust is vital in a healthy relationship. To give some history he's been divorced almost 3 years. Was married for 8 years cheated on his ex, his reason " she wasn't the right one for him". He checks my cell phone, emails, facebook, wants to know my whereabouts, always accuses me of texting males ( I don't ) cheating, ( I'm loyal) its just getting to the point where I'm drained of reassuring him of my faithfulness. He says "if I ever speak to a male that means I've cheated". I've told him "that's absurd" and to "grow up". He seems to do whatever he pleases. Goes out, doesn't tell me. I can't get ahold of him. Lies,says he was "sleeping" meanwhile months later it comes out he was at lounges and by himself so he claims. We don't live together. He never seems to have money makes very good money, but rarely takes me out. If he does he stares at women in my presence. Makes it very obvious. Makes me ponder what does do when hes alone. Once when I came over to his place there was a womans hair clip not mine, he has no sisters. I asked who's is this? He replied a lady that came by to view the place, cause he was moving. He's even called me a different name while texting me. I asked who's "Judy?" He replied "oh I'm half asleep then ignored me." My question is does he lack trust because of what he is possibly doing? Is that why he's behaving this way?
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (8 February 2011):
 My guess is that yes, he acts suspiciously because he knows what HE does independently. My assumption is that he's stepping out or at least enjoys entertaining the thought. Even if he's not, the reason why he's behaving like this is that he is a controlling, paranoid jerk who really does not seem like he's worth your time. Who knows what will come out down the road when you find out that he was at the lounge... and then he met someone... and then one thing lead to another...
Who comes over to look at a house and leaves a hairclip? That's weird. And calling you "Judy" over a text? It seems pretty outrageous to mistakenly WRITE OUT the wrong name, not just have it slip out of your mouth.
There may be feasible (albeit, lame) reasons for this. But really, all his other traits (lying, disappearing, ogling chicks, possessiveness, not taking you out) make him a LAMELAMELAME boyfriend. You deserve much better. Kick this guy to the curb. He is no good and probably up to no good.
Good luck, sweet!
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